Sunshine is Free

The Other January Updates Before I Forget

2012-01-29T18:24:00.000-08:00

Katie, Sydney, and Cora have all started a gymnastics class. I'm not sure the teachers know what to do with us, but the girls love all of the climbing and rolling, hanging, and balancing.

I read the Last of the Mohicans because a friend recommended it. She told me one of the main characters was a Cora who was very strong. It was a pretty violent book and the first chapter is a beast to get through because of all the historical back ground that gets covered, but the plot after that is amazing and I loved the story. The location is only 2 1/2 hours drive from here, so I'm hoping to take the girls to see it in the summer (it was around Ft Edward and Ft William George in NY during the French and Indian War).

I got called to be the ward Girls Camp director! I think if they would have asked anything else I would have bawled my eyes out, but I can't tell you how excited I am for this.

Jeremy went to Boston for a board review last week and he's headed out to Ecuador for a couple of weeks this Wednesday. I'm excited for him. I wish we could drive somewhere warm while he's down by the equator, but since that'd be at least a two day drive for us, I don't think it'll happen. I'll just have to settle with the Glen Canyon back ground of my Yoga videos.

There's so much more I want to say about all of this. That and about Brahms Requiem that we're doing in Handel Society, what I think about oil, we're probably going to get a pellet stove so we can afford to keep our house warm, Jeremy and I went swing dancing a few weeks ago, the girls love to strip themselves whenever they wake up, I gave Pele a bath, um, I can't think of what else, but hopefully I can be more detailed next month.

Not Our Best Weekend

2012-01-29T17:35:00.000-08:00

Just trying to remember all of the fun January happenings. Three Fridays ago my lovely Katie jumped off the couch while I went upstairs to get the twins out of their nap time. I heard a "thump," then, "Waaaaahhhh!" To be honest, that's not an uncommon sound sequence in our house, so I thought nothing of it. But by the time I got the girls down the stairs, she was still screaming bloody murder and could not walk. I checked out her foot, thinking maybe she twisted her ankle or something like that, but I couldn't see anything and she was able to move her foot, even though she was still crying so hard. I figured nothing was broken, so we sat her down, elevated and iced her foot, and figured thing would get better. Turns out she must have landed on a block, or something because she had a massive bruise on the ball of her foot and some swelling on top of it. The next day, I was taking the laundry down the stairs and Syd and Cora thought they'd help. Well, Cora took a head dive down the entire steep, wooden, flight of stairs with me watching at the top. I ran down and got her and Jeremy came running. She had a bloody nose and three bumps on her head. Jeremy took her and I sat on the stairs and cried. Some lady had already felt inclined to comment on my lack of safety awareness for leaving Cora in the grocery cart unattended (little did she notice that was because I was trying to tackle Katie and Sydney into their car seats) earlier that week. After Katie having her weird foot problems (she didn't walk for two days and limped for almost three weeks), then Cora falling down the stairs, I was feeling like the least capable human being when it comes to keeping kids unbroken. However, I think Cora had angels with her because the only thing left the next morning to tell of her tumbling was a scratched knuckle - the bumps were gone. We've noticed no drastic personality changes, so I'm assuming no brain damage either. (Though that's another subject if any of you have seen Bill Cosby Himself.) But we survived. So have our girls. Yeah for confessions of the not-so-perfect parents.

Two Terrible Twos

2012-01-29T16:50:00.000-08:00

They lived through their first two years. More importantly, so did the rest of us! I've gotten pretty lame about writing on the blog, and hopefully I'll get more pictures and updates out more than once a month. But, our camera has been dropped this month and is no longer in the greatest condition. Therefore, our pictures will be on the decrease for a while.
Boxes are still the best toys. I think this is Cora.

The pictures are not in any particular order here. Katie got invited to a princess birthday party. I swear, princesses are just in the water for girls. We've tried so hard to avoid the mania, but that doesn't mean every other little girl doesn't enjoy it. Oh, well. She loved the party and came home with a crown.

These are the birthday balloons that are also amazing toys for little people.

This was the birthday bash. Purple frosting on chocolate mint cupcakes and the five of us. I'm telling you, we're big on parties.

Cora is the one on the left and Syd on the right.

And the grand trio with their milk.

Lost

2011-12-31T11:39:00.001-08:00

I thought this might be a good post to end the year on. I lost the girls yesterday. If anyone reading has ever toyed with the thought of me being not the greatest mom, let me just confirm it for you. Although, I will counter that with my children are pretty stinking happy about life when they aren't whining.

We have a place here called the Montshire museum. It's a children's science museum and a lot of fun for kids, especially when it's so cold outside. Yesterday I took the girls to said museum. Usually when we go, the crowds are relatively small. But since it's Christmas break there were a lot more people there. I did OK on the first floor keeping track of them, but once we got to the second floor, I lost Cora. I looked around and could not find her anywhere, while I was still trying to get Katie and Sydney to stay with me. A woman who had seen me downstairs asked if I was "looking for the one in the pink shirt?" I said yes and she had just seen her head down a staircase around the corner. I found her, got them back together for a few minutes, then Katie wanted to look at some birds' nests. In the minute and thirty seconds we did that I lost Sydney. I nearly ran around the entire second floor with no luck. Katie had since sat down at a work bench where they were starting a group activity. Suddenly I hear over the loud speaker, "We have a little girl in a purple shirt and pink pants looking for her mom at the front desk." So I tell Kate to stay at the bench, grab Cora, and head down another set of stairs to retrieve Sydney. She didn't even notice she was lost, and was not too pleased with me bringing her back up the stairs. Within those two minutes Katie had left the bench and was running around looking for me. So I decided that was it, tied them all to the stroller, and home we went.

Let me tell you why I love my kids. I love that they are so confident. They are almost fearless about anything (except for the twins when I first deliberately leave them with someone else). All three of them absolutely love to learn about EVERYTHING hands on. This means they need to climb, touch, taste, smell, take apart, bang, and question anything. Katie asks why about the smallest to the most serious things. My children are relentless when it comes to getting answers and are determined to find their way through things, or around, or over, or under them. Music, nature, stories, the body, playing - everything is so exciting for them and they love to laugh, be happy, and be a part of everything.

Now let me tell you why I cry so much. All of the above good qualities make for some very intense days. There is NOTHING in this house that is not a magical thing to discover for them - including the oven, their dad's desk, the pantry, the sink, toilet, dressers, couches, salt for the sidewalk, mud puddles, tools, bum cream, wipes, you get the idea. So while I'm trying to help one understand why it's not OK to pull things out of the fridge I have another one getting things out of Jeremy's desk and the other one is trying to smear bum cream all over herself and the house. Not one of them prefers to listen to their mother over discovering whatever it is they see, regardless of ensuing consequences. I can be as consistent, respectful, and patient as possible, and that does not stop them from running three different directions, fearlessly into woods, fields, puddles, crowds, stairs, or parking lots on a repeated basis. I am so grateful they are who they are and can do all they do, but sometimes I'd love a little shock collar, or be able to wave a wand like in the Harry Potter books to block them from going somewhere. Or I'd put a spell on them that if they got too far away from me (such as at the museum), they'd start flashing and a siren noise would emanate from them until they came back to me. I suppose this is to teach me organization and how to grow eyes in the back of my head.

December Pics

2011-12-28T16:34:00.000-08:00

This was some time shortly after Katie got her glasses. She suddenly discovered there is a bag of hair things for her that I never get out because I just don't think about it. We had a good time doing her hair while I was doing mine for Jeremy's work Christmas party.
She's adorable, band-aid, glasses, hair things, and all.

Over our three Christmases here we have inherited a large amount of little girl Christmas dresses. Even two of the same one, go figure. I'm not complaining. I had them in different dresses each week this month. I think they liked getting so dressed up.

We had a sunny day here (the snow has not stuck yet) and I was determined to go for a hike. I had a good chat with them pre-hike about how it can be a lot of fun if everyone listens, but because there are three of them I cannot help anyone who's throwing a tantrum. Well, only a few hundred yards into our little hike Cora started a melt-down. I just walked away with Katie and Sydney, then Katie stops and says, " Mom, we can't leave Cora. Wait right here and I'll go get her." So there went my little tantrum queen to quiet her little sister, grab her hand and gently bring her back to us. Katie was determined to keep us together. I told her she's a good hiking buddy and she said, "No, I'm not. I'm a girl." That, too. It was so nice to feel the sunshine!

We started to decorate the tree with everyone, then quickly realized that was not so smart. After we put the twins to bed we had Katie help us and she LOVED putting the ornaments on the tree. Too bad it got tipped over twice over the next two days. That's OK, I figured it was only twice for the whole time the tree was up. Someone suggested something to me though, we may just go with home-made ornaments each year, like from paper, foil, and food, until we don't have to worry so much about it tipping over. If I can just remember to make the time for it next year.

Since Christmas Eve was a Saturday this year we had Jeremy home with us and decided to spend the morning at the Joseph Smith Birthplace. They have a stable set up there with two sheep and a donkey named Annie. The girls had a lot of fun petting them. The sister missionary there was so kind. She brought us in for left-over cake. We started talking and she had served a mission with her husband in Argentina. I told her I'd noticed the Argentine nativity they had there because I'd served in Argentina as well. She looked at me and said, "It's yours." She felt it would do our family more good than hers now and really wanted us to have it. I was so touched by her kindness. It made for a very nice start to Christmas Eve.

Sydney.

All in all our Christmas was super simple. We were able to visit with friends, go to church, sing some songs, call all of our family, but best of all we were able to just be together. The girls favorite things were the candy canes and suckers in their stockings! Jeremy and I got socks. We are living the good life. Actually, we really are. I love it. It's intense, it was a choice, and I would not have chosen anything else.

Christmas Letter

2011-12-17T16:09:00.000-08:00

Dear All,

Do you remember living at home and your parents getting the Christmas letter from friends and family? Some were hilarious, some were short and sweet, and some were an enormous list of accomplishments (like one child acing astro-physics, another being an accomplished musician, while the whole family does humanitarian work in Vietnam and vacations in Paris, then still have time for who knows what else). I swear no one's life is really perfect, and I tend to error on the brutally honest end, but here goes our family version of the "Christmas letter."

This year we probably changed enough diapers to fill half a land fill, though we can happily report that Katie has been potty trained for almost a year, at least during the day (night time is another story). Most of our time goes to work for Jeremy (and studying), then feeding, changing, cleaning, loving, playing with, feeding again, and chasing our girls, with occasional vomit clean up (though not as much as the year before!). Highlights of this year included a trip to DC, Jeremy and I going to Vegas for a couple of days for a conference while my mom watched the girls, Pele killing some chickens and me getting thrown out of court by the judge because I had the girls with me, we planted a garden with our neighbors that we fought desperately for and in the end it was overcome by mold (though we still had a good harvest), I started getting out more and more with the girls which included some trips to Vermont, Lake Winnipesauki, and Hampton Beach, my awesome neighbor gave me two days I needed to get to Newport Beach to see my friend get married, we learned how to can applesauce, Jeremy fixed the lawnmower and the toilet, I auditioned for and got into the Handel Society, Jeremy was offered and accepted a fellowship position here, we took a long trip to Utah to visit family, Katie got stitches while we were there, then glasses when we got back, all three of the girls can go through, around, or over our three gates in the house, open the fridge, oven, and toilet, and we have counted ourselves very lucky that we have two very reliable cars for the snowy weather. We have had many, many tears from all of the girls in this house (that includes me) as we work our way through tantrums, sleep deprivation, destructo-kids, the bi-weekly colds, and trying to make our grocery budget work. It has been through continuous little miracles of the Lord, the mercy and generosity of others, that we have been able to keep going. Life is so precious, but not easy.

I have never been given such an opportunity to learn compassion and understanding before for so many different types of people. Parenting three toddlers seems to do that to you. I suddenly understand how people may lose their patience so easily, burst into tears over anything, and how different limitations give people a completely different life than what they had planned. Basically, I have been learning how often we just can't judge, that we don't know what's going on. I have been learning the power of endurance, hope, patience, faith, forgiveness, and how much we all need the Savior's Atonement. Christmas has grown more and more meaningful to me as I think of the wonder and amazement of God's Son coming to earth to give us all another chance, hope for all of our trials, a higher purpose, healing, and peace. There are so many hurts both my own and of others close and not so close I wish I could do something for. But all I can do is love them and trust the Lord. Turning my heart to Him really does lift burdens and gives light into parts of life that may feel so dark. So in this Christmas note to everyone, I am hoping, not that you have a perfect year, but that the joys that come are deeper, the trials you overcome give strength and perspective, you draw closer to the Savior, and that you get the chance to walk outside somewhere and appreciate this beautiful world.

I've Never Heard it Explained so Well

2011-12-11T19:25:00.000-08:00

My sister sent me a copy of this in an e-mail. I laughed, and was so glad someone could put into words what this is like. I am so grateful to the many friends who have never even hinted at what the lady writing in says and feels. But sometimes it does feel like I have to justify my existence to the rest of the world, so I really wanted to post this. This was an article in the Washington Post. I didn't have a date on it, but it's legit.

Dear Carolyn: Best friend has child. Her: exhausted, busy, not time for self, no time for me, etc. Me (no kids); What’d you do today? Her: Park, play group….
OK, I’ve talked to parents. I don’t get it. What do stay-at-home moms do all day? Please no lists of library, grocery store, dry cleaners …. I do all those things, too. I guess what I’m asking is: What is a typical day and why don’t moms have time for a call or e-mail? I work and am away from home nine hours a day (plus a few late work events); I manage to get it all done. I’m feeling like the kid is an excuse to relax and enjoy, but if so, why won’t my friend tell me the truth? Is this a contest (“my life is so much harder than yours”)? What’s the deal? I’ve got friends with and without kids and all us child-free folks have the same questions.
-Tacoma, Wash.

Dear Tacoma: Relax and enjoy. You’re funny. Or, you’re lying about having friends with kids.
Or, you’re taking them at their word that they actually have kids, because you haven’t personally been in the same room with them.
I keep wavering between giving you a straight answer and giving my forehead some keyboard. To claim you want to understand, while in the same breath implying that the only logical conclusions are either lying or competing with you, is disingenuous indeed.
So, because it’s validation you seem to want, the real answer is what you get. When you have young kids, your typical day is: constant attention, from getting them out of bed, fed, cleaned, dressed; to answering their coos, cries, questions; to having two arms and carrying one kid, one set of car keys, and supplies for even the quickest trips, including the latest-to-be-declared-essential piece of molded plastic gear; to keeping them from unshelving books at the library; to enforcing rest times to staying one step ahead of them lest they get too hungry, tired, or bored, any one of which produces checkout-line screaming.
It’s needing 45 minutes to do what takes others 15.
It’s constant vigilance, constant touch, constant use of your voice, constant relegation of your needs to the second tier.
It’s constant scrutiny and second-guessing from family and friends. It’s resisting constant temptation to seek short-term relief at everyone’s long-term expense.
It’s doing all this while concurrently teaching virtually everything – language, manners, safety, resourcefulness, discipline, curiosity, creativity. Empathy. Everything.
It’s also a choice, yes. And a joy. But if you spent all day, every day, with this brand of joy, and then, when you got your first 10 minutes to yourself, wanted to be alone with your thoughts instead of calling a good friend, a good friend wouldn’t judge you, complain about you or marvel how much more productively she uses her time. Either make a sincere effort to understand, or keep your snit to yourself.

Tell Me About It is written by Carolyn Hax of the Washington Post.

And I would add, two arms for THREE kids, and when I have those ten minutes (when is that?) I can hardly remember my name, let alone where my phone is or what were the things I meant to do today besides feed everyone?

Glasses

2011-12-06T18:01:00.000-08:00

Poor little Katie. Or adorable little Katie. So our little girl developed strabismas. In easier terms - lazy eye. Kids are naturally farsighted and some of them try to compensate by going cross-eyed. I probably mixed some of that up, but what Katie has is supposed to be pretty correctable with glasses. So she got these yesterday. The frames are rubber with a band around the back to keep it on her head. She's done really well with keeping them on. She does rip them off when she's throwing a fit, but then she yells, "Mommy! My glasses are off! I need my glasses on!" So we'll see how this goes.

The Messiah

2011-12-06T17:45:00.000-08:00

Last Wednesday was our concert. The Handel Society has been an awesome group to be a part of. Our concert sold out!! We had a wonderful orchestra, soloists, and audience. I loved it. I'd never sang the entire Messiah all the way through. It is so powerful and moving. I'm glad it was how our family's Christmas season started out.

Magic

2011-11-25T14:09:00.000-08:00

I got out of the shower this morning and hear Katie yelling under her bedroom door, "Mommy! Is Thanksgiving over?" "Yes, Katie." "Is it Christmas time?" "Yes, Katie." "I'm so insited (excited) for Christmas time!"

As much as I used to protest Christmas decorations coming up before my birthday, here we were, the day after Thanksgiving, listening to Christmas songs and putting up some of our decorations. Katie is SO HAPPY about Christmas. She wants a big red and white striped candy cane for Christmas. She can't wait to get the lights up and get a tree. I was thinking about all of this and wondering about all the advertisements I've been seeing since September for Christmas anything. The message seems to be we can all have a "magical Christmas" if you just buy the right thing. Today as we spent time making each other giggle and singing songs, it was a good counter-culture message. A magic Christmas is one with love. Love, even the idea of it, is what makes the lights and the smells and the snow so wonderful.

Here's to creating some Christmas magic, with the least amount of "things" as possible.

Thankful

2011-11-24T11:26:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to write some of the things I'm thankful for this Thanksgiving.

Hot water

Sleep

a bed to sleep in

blankets

a working fridge

a stove

socks and shoes

waterproof boots

the nicest dog

a kitchen table

a washer and dryer

being in the Handel Society

Coats that keep us warm

a working car and truck

snow

sun

stars

drinkable water

not living in a war zone

trees

books

the seasons

lotion

ponytail holders

electric mixers

beautiful music

this beautiful country

that I can walk, see, talk, and hear

Scriptures

The Savior

Jeremy

Katie

Sydney

Cora

my parents

my sisters and brother

all of Jeremy's family

the many friends who've blessed our lives

and really good dark chocolate.

Katie's thankful for:

Sydney

Cora

Mommy

Daddy

Pele

(and she's "thankful for all the things she's thankful for, but there's not anymore")

Happy Thanksgiving all! I hope you can count a bunch of blessings.

Vacation Pics (It's a lot)

2011-11-21T17:17:00.000-08:00

We took a two week vacation to spend some quality time with the fam. Here's a brief recap. Above are Cora and Sydney (with the hood covering her) on a sled my mom's pulling. We spent our first week in Cedar with my parents and brother and introduced them to snow (last year doesn't count since they can't remember it). They loved the snow, but were not so thrilled about the sled ride.
Just to contrast the previous picture, we went a little further south for some good hiking time.

Unfortunately for us, good hikes can only be pulled off with at least three adults for now. My dad had Cora on his shoulders most of the time.

Jeremy had Sydney.

And this is me packing Katie around. Anyone who likes to wander in the woods with a little one, I highly recommend the above contraption. It's called and ergo and it's nice. This made it so nice to be able to wander through wilderness without a stroller! But hey, I guess strollers have come a long way from what they were even a decade ago, so we will continue to get out as much as possible, whether it's 3,2, or 1 adult.

See that worried face? That didn't stop her from going farther. She was determined to climb up all the rocks she could (I'm so proud). Notice the mark on her head? She got 5 stitches from a tickling accident with Uncle Jeremy (my bro), while we were there. My favorite was when we got out of the car at the instacare there she yells, "I just can't believe I cracked my head open! I'm just a little afraid." For how many falls and things she runs into, I'm a little surprised this is only the first round of stitches!

I can't wait till they're bigger, it's warmer, and we can come back and swim! It was beautiful!

We took a trip to the zoo when we got to Salt Lake with Jeremy's sis, my sis, their kids, and Jeremy's parents. It's nice when it's cooler, the animals seem to be out more. We even saw the mama elephant trumpet.

Lunchtime with the cousins. The three on the right are all within 5 months of each other. There is a missing boy in this picture who was so excited to be set free of his stroller. He's only a week older than the twins. About time these boy cousins had some girls their age around.

Daddy got to play a little football with Katie in his parents yard. She loved it.

There's the missing boy from the zoo picture. What a good photographer I am. The three of them found an empty cupboard to play in while my sister was working on dinner for us.

Other than all of us now having a nasty GI bug (started the day we flew back, and it's not just 24 hours), the trip was great. As always, there was never enough time to see all the family and friends, but it was too long with three little girls. They gave up sleeping through the night again by the second week. Which translates to so did we. But we sure loved every minute with everyone. They loved their cousins, aunts and uncles, grandparents, great-grandparents, and all the dogs we got to play with. Jeremy and I were so happy to just be in every one's company. The weather was great for us, and no one had a stay in the hospital.

As always, I leave a trip pondering many things. First and foremost is will we ever not be so exhausted? Every activity (including eating and sleeping) is so compounded now when you're in charge of tiny creatures with little-to-no sense of self preservation every waking and sleeping second of the day. Thank goodness they smile, giggle, and cuddle so often or they may have been left at the zoo.

I'm always grateful for the love and generosity of so many people in our lives. I ache for the different struggles everyone has and we can't seem to do anything for them other than pray for them. I wish we were closer, but I love where we live. There are so many advantages and disadvantages to each location. Both Jeremy and I always end up wondering where in the world we will end up when residency and fellowships are done. Hopefully closer than a 5 day drive, but that would be almost anywhere West of the Mississippi. Oh, well. It's not our time to know that yet.

Halloween and Then Some

2011-11-20T17:28:00.001-08:00

Trick or treating was a good time this year. Katie was our little witch again, Syd was the lady bug, and Cora the monster. They had a lot of fun knocking on doors and carrying their buckets of candy.

And here's how things go at home. These three can't stop helping me. It's a little scary at times because they're all so busy, but I let them jump in when I can.

I didn't get the red eye out, but this picture needs to be included. She was playing with her neighbor friend and decided she wanted chocolate milk. My very creative child then filled a bucket with water, mixed it with mud, and drank the entire thing. I could not stop laughing.

Family Pictures

2011-11-20T17:13:00.001-08:00

We had a friend from church take pictures for us. It was unbelievable how difficult it was to get all three of them to look at the camera without scowling. The trick we finally learned was to ask the girls what a dolphin said. Their imitations were enough to get the eye contact and a smile. These pictures were taken with our own camera at the time, but I'll be sending out the real deal hopefully for Christmas.

If you can't guess who's who, it's Cora in the red and Sydney in the white.

Quick Visit from Mom and Dad

2011-11-20T16:57:00.000-08:00

This is a very late post. My parents were out for a few days in the middle of October. It was quick, but we had a good time. These are pictures of a hike we took to Quechee Gorge. These little girls gave all three of us a run for our money as they couldn't help but run and look out over the gorge every chance they got. It was a little wet, and I was so glad my parents were there to spend the time with us.

What Did You Do This Weekend?

2011-10-30T18:36:00.000-07:00

I must admit, I've lost some of my interest in blogging, partially because I have too much to say and not the time to get to it, and partially because so many days become such a blur. I feel so insanely busy each day, but can't even remember what I did as soon as the girls go down for bed. But I can share some "highlights" from the last few days.

Halloween parties abound here, it seems. We go to a community group for toddlers called the Romp and Stomp and they had a Halloween dress up this week. Syd was not the least bit interested in getting in a costume, but Katie loved being a witch and Cora was a lady bug (I'll get pictures in some day). We had another party at the hospital that evening with other residents and their families. I was able to talk Sydney into wearing the lady bug outfit and Cora was the purple and green monster, Katie, of course, was a witch. In the whole hour we were there we had two MAJOR meltdowns from Katie, the last one of which silenced everyone in the room to turn and see who was dying. She was upset because all the suckers were gone. That's rough stuff when you're three.

Katie is one beautiful, intelligent, trying child. She is so fun and full of life, but she explodes at the drop of the hat, to a point of being very beyond reason or control. I used to think when I saw kids act like that that their parents let them have their way all the time or didn't give their child enough attention. I think part of the reason God lets us have kids is to realize how wrong we are in the judgements we didn't even realize we were making. It softens and humbles you to realize how little control you have over so many things. Katie is just as strong willed as I am, and as counter-intuitive as it seems, the only thing that seems reliable when she's out of control is to hold, love, and rock her. Then she calms down and we can talk. I'm learning how true it is that each child is different and all of the preconceived notions I had about being a parent only have some merit to them. There's a lot that can only be learned on the way, and realized by no one other than Jeremy and myself (though we are grateful for the help and support we get from so many around us).

It snowed that night, about an inch or less, and was pretty cold, but beautiful the next morning. I decided to take all my girls for a walk. The current get up is the twins go in the double stroller, and Katie is strapped to my back with an ergo (anyone out there with little kids, it's awesome!), and Pele walks to the right of the stroller. Well, that sounds maybe easy enough, but with it so cold out, getting warm things on everyone and then getting us all outside takes a total of 45 minutes, which tend to be filled with little girls and sometimes a mama crying and screaming because nothing can get done fast enough for anyone. But we made it.

I must have been feeling really adventurous that day because I decided to put the twins in their pack-&-plays in my and Jeremy's room for their nap so Katie could have her quiet time in her room. The twins have been able to climb out of their pack-&-plays for a couple of months now, but I'd taken care of every potential mess in our room and hoped for the best. I ended up taking Katie with me outside to trim some bushes. When I came in to check on them, I could smell something sweet. The twins were out wandering around upstairs (not such a good thing), so I checked our room and it was fine, checked Katie's and the girls' room and it was fine, then I walked into the bathroom. They had dumped a nearly full box of tampons into our little toilet and them poured their strawberry shampoo on top. It was almost hilarious except our toilet no longer flushed. You'd think they'd be happy to not worry about girlie products for a few more years.

That was Friday. So our Saturday was spent first trimming our bushes, then Jeremy took apart the toilet with the help of his brother over the phone (who is a plumber, thank goodness), and then Jeremy and I got us all ready for our church's Halloween trunk or treat. I actually painted my fingernails for it which I don't think I'd done since my Junior year in high school. We did have a good time with that and it amazes me how easy it is for our girls to wander away, even in a room filled with people dressed in all kinds of costumes.

As good as Saturday was, Sydney did not sleep at all last night. She was up about every half hour after 2am, and Katie woke up with a nightmare as well. Props to Cora for sleeping through all of this. We were tired, but we made it to church OK and the girls weren't too bad. We went to a friend's house for dinner after and thought the day had gone well. Then Sydney became REALLY upset once we got home. We thought she was just tired and cranky, but after we'd laid her down and were hoping to just let her cry it out, I hear this fountain sound coming out of their room. The poor girl was puking all over herself and could not stop. I came in and picked her up just in time to help her puke all over the wall. Crib, animals, blankets, floor, wall, jammies, hair, it was awesome. We're hoping it's all out of her and that this isn't a sign of how our trip will go this coming weekend (we're heading out west again, folks).

That was our weekend. We also got 4-6" of snow last night. I really love winter, but I do feel a bit differently about it when it entails dressing three little people simultaneously. I have great hopes that this is all part of Heavenly Father's plan to teach me things I would not otherwise understand. He knows a lot more than I do, and I think sometimes it takes things being out of control to remind me who's in control.

Hopefully I'll get some pictures in before we head out on our journey.

Fall

2011-10-16T17:52:00.000-07:00

There is something so magical to me about fall. Really, about the start of each season, but especially fall. The air has this crisp feel to it and echos of so many memories play in my head when I look at the sky, the colored trees, the pumpkins, and smell the air. Memories of going back to school, of campfires, of different sports games, hiking, memories of working at Disney's Animal Kingdom and some of my co-workers and I going to the "autumn celebration" in Celebration there, memories of the MTC, of dances, starry nights, rivers in Idaho, and the list goes on as I'm sure it does for everyone. I start to get excited about certain foods I have no idea how to make and no money to consistently buy - cinnamon rolls, freshly made apple cider, all kinds of chocolate candies, and ginger bread. It's like a pre-Christmas appetizer season.

It's nice to look away from the news, from the bills, from questions and worries and doubts that I think everyone works through at one point in time or another and just feel the change of the season. It comes every year. There's always a fall, winter, spring, and summer. The seasons seem a little more unpredictable with time, but the changes are welcome, all the same. I took Pele out for a walk this morning after the girls woke me up a little after 5am (they went back to bed). We were able to see some of the winter stars and constellations - Orion, Sirius, Gemini - and my breath catches at seeing them. There is something so magnificent in watching the Heavens. The stars in the sky seem to calm and inspire me. There is so much more beyond this earth, and it is good. There is a God watching over all who knows us, and orchestrates our lives as well as the planets and stars in the heavens.

I hope my girls will appreciate all of the beauties of this earth. I hope they will love experiencing it for themselves and letting the beauties of the world open their eyes and calm their hearts. Again, those thoughts of fall - apples, leaves, crayons, trees, the wind, fires, pencils, trails in the mountains and on the river, fresh baked bread, home made blankets, hay rides, corn mazes. I'm writing to say there is much good in the world. It may be so hard at times, but there are just as many good, strong memories, happy moments, and momentary glimpses of what heaven may be. I'm happy to be alive and have the trials and triumphs I do.

How Long Can One Hold Their Breath?

2011-09-22T19:42:00.000-07:00

We have some exciting news! (Whoever may be jumping to the conclusion that we're pregnant, hold off, I don't have a death wish yet.) Yesterday Jeremy was offered a fellowship position here in regional anesthesia for the 2012-2013 year. For anyone not in doctor-land I will explain. After your 4 years of med school you apply for and hopefully get into a residency program. It's 3-12 years of on the job training, depending on what you're going into. If you want to specialize in your select field a fellowship is an additional however many years of more specific training. So you're still not quite finished with school, but it gives you more options down the road. Jeremy will be finished with his anesthesia residency in June of next summer. The regional fellowship has to do with specific nerve blocks - knees, shoulders, etc. After that we are still looking at a possible peds fellowship or maybe a real job, we'll just see what happens.

We are breathing a huge sigh of relief though, it took a lot longer than usual for the decision to be made and we were beginning to wonder if we'd be putting our house on the market this spring. I'm glad to know we are not and we'll be enjoying New England for another year. Jeremy has worked very hard for this and I'm proud of him.

Sweet Fruit of the Earth

2011-09-17T18:08:00.000-07:00

After a week of feeling like I was losing my mind, we were blessed with Jeremy's parents coming to stay with us for a few days. I suddenly realized this house is easy and fun to run when there's four adults in the house. Besides trying to keep all of us sickies from going under (his parents weren't feeling well either), we went off to pick more apples and berries, then today we rode a train and merry-go-round with the girls. The above picture is at one of our favorite places to pick. That dog's not Pele, his name is Max, and he's seriously the size of a horse. His shoulders fall just below my hips. I'm a sucker for animals, but especially winter dogs.
Here's Katie enjoying the produce.

Sydney's the one in stripes. They love that they get to run all over and eat whatever they get a hold of.

There's Grandma and Grandpa getting a taste of things.

Cora steals my heart in this picture.

That is the infamous Connecticut River behind them. That was one of the rivers that just below us flooded out a lot of areas. We had two shopping areas that were under up to 5 feet of mud in some places. I was blown away at the destruction that happened. I'm sure grateful we were OK through Irene and I've been amazed as I watch so many people in all of the communities here really work to help each other out.

I don't know if you can tell, but there are berries smeared on Cora's face.

And Sydney can now scowl with the best of them.

This girl loves her merry-go-round rides.

This is the very end of the train they got to ride.

And my favorite picture of Sydney.

So just to cover some of the exciting events this last week. Our fridge has been dying since July. It went out completely Wednesday morning. I couldn't be grateful enough for Vicki and Jeff who were there to help with the kids and finding a new fridge while I was also getting what we could save to the neighbor's freezer. Jeremy was able to get a Dr's apt and found out he had some pneumonia in his lower left lung. Then we also had 45 lbs of apples. Between Jeff, Vicki, Jeremy and I we did our first canning adventure and canned 14 quarts of apple sauce. It's pink because of the apples we used and it is yummy. Vicki helped me get a MEGA jump start on the quilts I was working on for the girls, and between the four of us we were able to still feed the kids and walk the dog amidst all of this.

We've felt very blessed to have the family we do, especially when they help us really just enjoy our children. There is still so much that I want to talk about, but it's time to go to bed.

A Long Update

2011-09-11T17:07:00.000-07:00

Urrr, so this is a month late. The above picture was Katie's birthday "cake," well, cupcakes. Yeah, her birthday was the beginning of August. She is now three years old.
We invited the neighbors over to help eat all of those. Too bad our freezer won't really freeze the ice cream any more and it was more like cold soup. Oh, well. The kids still ate it. I tell you what, I've got to set the expectations low so we're not stressing over big birthdays for all three.

This is our first attempt at a family camp-out. Smores were a favorite for Kate and Cora, though I have to tell you that was a very long night with all of us in one tent with no way to keep the girls from crawling all over us and each other. I think we slept in 20 minute intervals. But I am determined to try camping again with our family. Maybe not until next summer though.

Besides a family camp-out, I was also determined to take the girls to the beach. I could only pull that off with some help, so this is a friend from church who offered to come play at the beach with us. We took turns riding the waves. The girls at first were terrified, but as they realized it was fun to splash and dig in the sand, we ended up having a great time.

A friend told me there are places to pick peaches up here, and since I have such rotten luck finding decent peaches in the store, we went peach picking. I think one of my favorite parts was watching the girls eat the fruit. We've done some blueberry, raspberry, apple, strawberry, and peach picking this year. I've become a huge fan of pick-your-own. We've made some jam out of the berries and peaches. I'm starting to feel like a real New Englander.

We also went for a quick family "hike" around the house this last week when I was trying to figure out what to do with them for a half hour. This is off the side of our house.

I'm pretty sure that's Sydney.

Then this should be Cora.

All three of them can't get enough of their books, which has preserved their lives some days when they realize mom needs 3 minutes to herself for something and they go and look through all of their books. Cora and Sydney can now climb out of their cribs and pack and plays, which makes for some interesting messes. All three of them love to smile at me and walk away when I ask them something as if to say, "ya gonna make me, Mom?" And as we have been battling on and off with teething, runny noses, and who knows what else, these last few weeks have been weeks of many tears from every girl in this house. I think even the dog feels bad when she doesn't get walked as often.

I would love to say how much patience I'm gaining, and how adorable every minute is with these girls. But I don't know if I can. They are adorable and they do and say some wonderful things, but my patience has also been so put to the test when all three of them cry about anything. I'm getting the tiniest insight into what God really means when he says unconditional love. When you think about it, we're just as whiny as his children. We want things how we want them and fight any change that's not easy or what we want. Yet He still loves us and is so patient. So much more so than I. And that's why God is God. He can somehow handle and love all of us. Perfectly. I'm hoping to make it through these three and not damage them too much in the process.

On a side note, I auditioned for a group called the Handel Society. It's a community choir that's connected with Dartmouth. There are 75 members and it's the longest running community choir in the nation. I made it in as a first soprano. We had our first rehearsal last week. It's an awesome choir to sing with, but just a little intimidating. They take this stuff VERY seriously. It makes the music and the people there fun, but after not really singing in a group for many years now, I have to work pretty hard on the music. We're singing the entire Messiah at the end of November. I've missed singing in a choir. I'm excited to see how it goes.

I hope that's enough update for now. I really hope we can get everyone over their sicknesses (seriously, it's only the end of summer! Does this mean no winter bugs?). Jeremy's actually had it the worst. My poor Honey. For anyone who doesn't know this, residents literally have to be on their death bed to have a sick day from work. Is it now ironic that physicians, the guys we go to when we're sick, aren't really allowed to rest? Somehow, we will get through this. At least no one is vomiting.

Friends

2011-08-07T16:49:00.000-07:00

This lucky man married one of my most favorite people in the world. Katie was my first companion as a missionary in Argentina. We worked together for 6 months. I learned so much from her and had so much fun at the same time. We've laughed a lot about how if we'd met somewhere else we probably would not have made the effort to become friends because we are so different at first glance. But as we got to know each other and found we felt the same about things that mattered, we became fast friends. I can't believe I forgot to get this post in the month of July. Katie got married in the Newport Beach, CA temple. That's a long way from New Hampshire. But by small tender mercies from the Lord, I was able to be there. I looked at flying out, driving out, flying someone out here to fly with me and the kids (Jeremy can't have any time off in July) and nothing was looking remotely physically or financially possible. Then my neighbor offered to take the kids. I flew out on a Thursday afternoon, was there all day Friday, then came home Saturday. It was awesome!

I was able to read the entire book, Jane Eyre while I was on the plane. There was a line in the book that seemed so fitting: "...there is no happiness like that of being loved by your fellow-creatures, and feeling that your presence is an addition to their comfort." I stayed with an old roomate while I was there and visited with another dear friend from the mission. Between the wedding, Katie's family, and these two friends those words could not sum up the experience any better. I was on cloud nine being with people I loved so well and missed so much. I am thankful for all of the hard moments I have had to pass through at different times with each of these people as it seems to have sealed our bonds of friendship to that of family. Having friends to love and confide in, cry and laugh with, is truly one of the greatest treasures of this life.

This is a good picture of most of the Murdock clan.

We joked about her having all boys that I would teach how to build fires and I would have all girls and she will teach them how to shop and do their hair. So far it's looking like that might pan out....

Speaking of the stinkers. There is nothing the three won't climb. They are the best of friends and each others' greatest antagonist. They are adorable though. I might be biased.

This is the scowling picture I lost earlier. Little stinker.

Domestiwhaa??

2011-08-07T16:27:00.000-07:00

I had hunted high and low looking for a dress with sleeves for Katie to almost no avail. I don't have the patience to keep looking, especially when it ends up being an on-line hunt, and she's at the age where it's hard to find as much used stuff because kids her age play so hard. To make a long story short I decided it would be better to make a dress. I've never made a dress. But I found a pattern and material and was pretty excited about it until I tried to read the instructions. I know the words were English, but I could not understand what it was telling me. I called a friend from church over who is an amazing seamstress and she gave me a little more liberty to use my own observations mixed in with the instructions. A few days later I had a dress made. But I hadn't put it together that the seems of clothes usually entail more than a single stitch. Her dress was unraveling after one hour of wear. Not so effective. As I was talking this dilemma over with another friend from church she offered the surger she was currently housing. After a half hour of work at my friend's house we now have a functioning dress.

I never would have thought I had it in me. I made a dress. I'm not making plans for prom or wedding dresses for these gals, but it does feel good to know I can supplement some of the basics.

Water is Good

2011-07-24T18:05:00.000-07:00

This is week two of attempting this post and the computer is determined to thwart me. Consider my comments the cliff notes version of everything. Second week of July I took the girls to southern Vermont to visit family of a friend and we had a blast! It was so beautiful, I fell in love with Vermont all over again. We swam in the family pond there and there is something magical about diving into fresh water. Here's some pics of the girls in the water.

That's Cora's head above with Katie and this is Sydney below. Jeremy and I have been working with them and these girls are fearless in the water. That has its' goods and its' bads for now, but will serve us well later. Right now we do a head count every 5-10 seconds, which makes for very segmented conversation with anyone.

Cora, Katie, the three friends of theirs, and Sydney. They loved the popsicles.

And this beautiful lake before you is none other than Winnipesaki (I hope I spelled that right). We went there the next day with Jeremy to stay with his cousin's family for the weekend. It was amazing. Such a huge lake, but if felt like no one was there because of all the tree coverage and the shape of the coastline. The water was amazing to play in! Thanks, Sarah and Brian for inviting us!

Katie would run around holding a stick on her head and telling us she was a unicorn shooting water at us through her horn. Jeremy was reciprocating her love.

Cora.

We made it home again. I had an awesome picture of Cora scowling, but I can't figure this computer out and it got lost somewhere. So we have Katie above and Sydney below.

The water is such a nice break in the 95 degree weather (no one has central air here, except the library). Our kids are covered with bumps and bruises all the time, I feel like I'm doing a good job letting them explore. The girls still have a very small vocabulary. They say "hot," "woof," and "uh-oh." Mama and dada go in and out of being used for a person, let alone the right one. Katie can sing the Battle Hymn of the Republic. She and I were sitting on the porch watching bees get the pollen out of our lavender bush a couple of days ago. I've tried so hard not to teach her to fear bugs and it's so amazing to watch her watch the bees. She gets so close to them and just studies them. Then we talk about what she sees and it's so simple, yet so beautiful. I guess that sounds strange to many people, but I want my girls to know and understand how important every living thing in the world is. I want them to have that respect for life. And it humbles me to see that start to grow in them.

There's so much more I meant to post for the month of July. Right now I can hardly remember what happened. Katie's turning three next Saturday and I'm hoping I at least remember to get a cake-mix. At least we will be out of the three under three phase. Which was still a lot better than three under two. I better close. Here's to hoping for more postings in the month of August.

Wild

2011-07-10T18:34:00.000-07:00

I finished a book this last week. It's called Last Child in the Woods. For anyone who has a good childhood memory of nature (water, trees, animals, flowers, dirt...) this book is something you should read. The author talks about how vital the relationship between children and nature is. He found study after study that links time in nature with decreased symptoms of anxiety, depression, and ADHD. As I read it and remembered all of the things I loved about being a child I realized how much of it involved nature. I have become more determined than before to let my girls experience that for themselves. So this last little while I have been fighting (anything from feeding them to leaving the house is a fight) to get them out as much as possible. It is a tremendous effort each time, but afterwards I feel so much better, the girls are happier, and the day seems to be better.
Two Tuesdays ago was free national park day, so we went to the closest one in New Hampshire - Saint Gaudens. He was a sculpture and this was where he did a lot of his work. Not the same as Zions, but still beautiful and they loved it.

Katie loves to have a backpack on. And to wear skirts. She's kind of like a dressy pack-lama for me.

Never too young for baseball. Or wiffle ball, I guess. I don't know if I've put up pictures of our front yard before, but there used to be some funky evergreen trees lining our driveway. That handsome fellow with the bat pulled them out one afternoon while I was grocery shopping. It looks so much better and I was so proud of him!

Our next adventure into the woods. I took them to the Joseph Smith birthplace in Sharon, VT. The church has a campsite there and I thought we'd do some hiking with the wagon. There happened to be a boyscout camp there at the same time. I think they were wondering what all of these little girls and their crazy mom were doing there with a wagon. We ended up just playing on the small swing set there and they found some interesting bug to look at on the slide. We did get a little time in the woods playing with sticks. Mission accomplished.

Our neighbors donated their son's old Red Sox t-shirt for Kate. I love how she loves to wear it with her pink boots.

Sugarbush Farms was our next big adventure. Cora and Katie loved the chickens, Sydney was not so sure about getting too close to them.

Sydney had to inspect the other folks at the farm. We took the maple walk they had there (they make maple syrup and cheese at this farm and keep the animals for the kids to meet). Sometimes the girls just want me to carry them, which makes me grateful Katie is so ready to just run on her own.

They loved the cow and wanted to keep petting him. There were a couple of horses there as well that I would lift them up one by one to pet. Until I realized that as I was working with one of my three girls the other two would be climbing up the rails of the fence. Never a dull moment.

We ate lunch just outside of the little house there and this huge black dog (behind them) would just wait for food to fall down. Dogs make clean up so much easier!

There's Cora with her little syrup sample spoon in her hand. Cora in the grass.

Notice the back pack? She got down in the grass here so she would be safe from the truck that had to drive by.

Our backyard is finally in bloom!

I just wanted to conclude with some thoughts on the wilderness. I know it's been hard for me to get to the wilderness (anywhere that's relatively machine/building/cement-free) since we've had kids. I know that's a reality for a lot of my friends now as well. Life gets busy, and it's hard to remember to do more than just survive with bills, food, work (this includes laundry, cleaning, dishes, etc), and the commitments we all must keep. But I have been reminded of how good the wild is for my soul. Things I learn and love about nature:

1-Every flower, tree, and living thing is different and special. No one is saying all flowers must look like this - not too tall, too short, a certain color, and be dressed a certain way. Each living thing does the best it can and that's all that is needed. Each plays a part of a bigger picture, but is still so unique and amazing.

2- Most changes are gradual, yet life altering. Rapid changes in nature (floods, earthquakes, fires) may be too overwhelming to systems and though good may come out of it eventually, it takes a very long time. Most changes and growth are very gradual and the most sustaining. Canyons formed from streams, trees that grow so tall, even food growing in your garden. It's OK in nature to have a slower, more constant pace. You'll get to where you need to go without running like you're on fire.

3- You realize it's OK to not be in control. No one and nothing other than God is really in control and things work out. You survive storms and draughts, just as plants and animals do.

4- You can see life really is beautiful and fun can be simple things that don't cost money. Mud can be played in, trees can be climbed by the rich or poor, pretty or plain, and the joy you take from it is all your own. Those boundaries we set as humans begin to disappear in nature.

I have probably talked enough for now. This is something so dear to my soul I could talk about it for eons. I hope to give my girls this simple joy, this chance to feel so close to God and free from the judgements, fear, and anger this world tries to throw at them. I want them to respect real dangers (being struck by lightning or drowning in a river) more than fearing the perceived ones (there are evil people everywhere waiting to hurt me). If this post has inspired even one person to go find a wild place to feel alive again, then I have succeeded. I hope someone else picks up the book because it was good and it reminded me there is so much more to life than just surviving it.

Justice

2011-06-30T16:19:00.000-07:00

This last Monday was my second trip to court for our beloved dog. It was eye opening. Actually, I'd say terrifying. At least this time someone was watching the girls. For anyone who has not had the pleasure of gracing a courtroom, all of the offenders had to sit and wait for the judge to show up. Then the clerk read lists of names (you'd go up in groups), she'd read all of the charges against you, then the judge would tell you the sentence and/or fine. Nothing was private - financial status, numbers of previous offenses, and so on - it was quite a change from health care where your own family can't know a thing without you signing a stack of paper.
The judge was merciless. I understand you have to be firm and stern (you could see how much crap went on), but he was more like condescending and ruthless. He mocked people, kicked people out, and seemed to enjoy making everyone there feel like idiots. He remembered me enough to point out that things were obviously a lot calmer for me without my kids and still increased the fine from what the prosecutor had asked for. At least it wasn't the thousand he'd originally threatened.
I left there feeling sad for society. Homeless, jobless, kids there for drug and alcohol charges with no parents in the room, young parents there for shoplifting, domestic abuse cases, all kinds of drug charges, and I left before they were even half-way done. Granted, I wasn't looking at a murder trial, but the reality of what I was seeing really hit me. No one aspires to be homeless, go to jail, or be an addict. And growing up with the doctrine of Christ being taught, justice was always taught with the principle of mercy. There is no mercy in the courtroom. How can there be? I know you feel bad about breaking the law, let's work on your change of heart, we'll help you get a better job, get you some counseling, you can apologize, work back the damage, and things will be OK. That will not work in this earthly life. There has to be justice. I just had my eyes open to how final it is.
How do you get a job after you've gone to jail? Who hires you? How do you get into a college to get a better job? Who pays your bills while you're in the slammer and have no income? These people we send away for punishment more often come out much worse off than they were before. I don't know that I have answers, but it was frightening to contemplate all of this as I watched this judge make everyone tremble.
I was glad to be done with the whole affair. I hope to never be back there again. So to any of you potential law breakers out there - DON'T DO IT! It's not worth it. And be careful if you live somewhere that even minor violations - a dog off a leash - sends you to court.

Moments

2011-06-12T17:19:00.000-07:00

Where to begin? Hopefully the computer won't slow me down or we will get no where very fast. I will try to play catch up really quick. Just after our trip to DC, Jeremy and I went to Las Vegas as my mom was out with our girls. Jeremy had an anesthesia conference and I spent some quality time in the mountains. I found some beautiful views and even several waterfalls. Who knew Las Vegas had such amazing wilderness nearby? The trip was quick, Jeremy's parents met us there and we spent some time with them, and we enjoyed spending time together. It was so nice to reconnect with the wilderness. But we did learn to never rent a car from a rental company you've never heard of. It was a sketchy deal and I think our car used to be a gangster car. Las Vegas itself was something different for me. It was a good reminder that Jeremy and I aren't much for the big city life, but especially there. We felt pretty dirty just from walking around the streets. Maybe we'll find a conference in Hawaii one of these years.

I don't know if I can tell you much of what happened between then and this last week, but we have had an adventure this last week. It was Pele's court hearing this last Monday. I should have remembered enough to find a babysitter for the girls, but I did not remember until I was in the shower that morning. Not knowing how to find a sitter at 6:30 in the morning for 7:50, I just decided to take them with me. I just needed to plead guilty and pay the fine, right? Oh, not so. Court is a scary place, apparently. We had to go through metal detectors, they turned away anyone with shorts, then we all (every person in trouble with the law), had to sit in the court room. Me with all three girls. The judge was not there, but they played a video recording of him saying something for 20 minutes or so that I could not hear because I was wrestling the girls. It was nuts, and to make a long story short, an hour and a half after we were there the judge finally came in. After we stood up for him and then sat down the girls, who had done so well until then, began to cry. All three of them. So the judge asked me to come up in front of everyone and for about 10 minutes proceeded to tell me I was disrespectful, couldn't think, couldn't hear him with the kids crying, and that I was more or less stupid for taking the kids, he was going to fine me $1000 for the violation, and I needed to get out of his courtroom. I've never felt humiliated before. But I did then. I couldn't stop crying almost the entire day. Thing after thing I tried to do that day just kept falling apart and I felt so overwhelmed and incompetent.

I talked to the police station a couple of days later and found out I had to talk to the prosecutor. I left him a message and he called me back. All city violations (the dog off the leash) have to be settled through the court. But he was there and saw everything that happened, felt pretty sympathetic since he had kids as well, and was only going to press for $50. Such a relief from the $1000. It still has me a little shaken when I remember him just berating me with no mercy as Kate was climbing on the chair in front of me and the twins were crying on each hip.

It started off the week a little rough. Jeremy asked me later this week if I find joy in being a mother. My answer was in moments. This is full of heartbreaks and joys all in moments.

Saturday was a day of beautiful moments. It rained all day so we just spent time doing almost nothing as a family, but I loved it. All three of them were so sweet. I love that Katie loves to give us both loves, gives the girls loves, and even gives Pele loves. During one of the major thunderstorms Katie knew that Pele would be scared so she would sit next to her, give her loves and told her, "It's OK, I'm here, you're alright." The twins are so much trouble right now because they climb up ANYTHING, but their smiles just melt your heart. They love to dance, clap their hands, and run. When we're not all in tears, we are all laughing and playing. Especially when it's hot enough to get in the pool.

This was from the neighbors. They drew on our driveway a couple of months ago and I finally got the picture up.

This was the huge fountain we dug up to make our garden a little bigger. Other than my cell phone having a watery death, this was a successful venture.

You're looking at Katie, Cora, and Sydney. They can play in this pool for hours and it's a lifesaver when it's so hot and muggy.

There's Cora in the front, then Sydney, and Katie.

Different day, I switched their suites, so this is Sydney.

Here's Cora.

And the lovely Katie Bug.

When all is said and done, I am still learning a lot. I think I also have a lot more to learn. It has astounded me how little the world thinks of parents at times. Particularly mothers who stay home with their children. I don't think life is easy for anyone, challenges continue to come from every direction no matter who you are or what you're doing. But I'm grateful for the teachings of the Atonement, the faith and hope it gives me that all things work for our good if we let them. I always have more to say, but by the time I write it down I either can't remember or I need to go to bed. So here's to the end of the post, but what I wanted to get out was that this life is made of many moments, great and small, painful and joyful, and I'm grateful for the opportunity to go through it.

To DC and More

2011-05-15T17:08:00.000-07:00

Long time no posts, I know. We've been on vacation! What a wonderful thing. Jeremy had a week and a half off. We spent the first part of it getting caught up with little things, then we went to DC to visit my sister Melissa and her family. Here's a collection of pictures (a LOT of pictures).

This was actually a month or so before. We just need to show off Sydney's styling hair once we get the food out of it.
Cora wanted to join the photo shoot.

This is what Katie does when I put her down for "quiet time." She pulls out her clothes and has a party. In her hand you see a pair of white socks that she's stuffed with other socks and calls it her muffin, cupcake, or cranberry juice. On her head you see a halloween skirt she calls her headband.

And then she falls asleep somewhere random. Like on top of the dresser.

Now we're in DC at the National Zoo. Katie, Sydney and I were checking out the carnivour exhibit near the lions. They had cubs out, two mamas, and a daddy lion while we were there and we got to hear them roar. I think Jeremy and I were more excited about that than the girls were.

Cora and her daddy.

I promise we didn't have another one. That cute little addition is my sister's little Lila.

And there's cousin Van with us.

They did this on their own. It's so fun to have cousins! Even if we only see them once a year.

Working hard at the Building Museum.

This was Jeremy and I getting some quality time with Katie at the Smithsonian Natural History Museum. The best part was she ran around it pushing her stroller shouting "Follow the Prophet" as loud as she could.

My cookie monsters at the WWII memorial.

Cora at our belayed egg hunt with the cousins.

There's Sydney adding to the stash.

We made it to the Baltimore Aquarium while we were there and it was awesome! It's true, you can only show a two year old so many fish, but between the dolphins, sting rays, sharks and the rain-forest at the end, we had a very good time.

Maybe the toddlers' favorite part was actually the bubbles at the gift shop.

Scare you? It's just a picture behind us, but it sure looks good, doesn't it?

So we ended that day by doing a kid swap with Jon and Melissa at the temple. We even ran into some of Jeremy's extended family there. The world is so small when you're memebers of the Church. The kids had a great time playing on the lawn. And I can't tell you how much I loved being able to take them everywhere without bundling three little kids up with boots, coats, mittens, and hats. I kept feeling like I was forgetting something, but it was such a sense of freedom!

Love this temple. If you're heading west on the 495 around DC, there's this point where it just stands out above the trees right in front of you. It's amazing.

This is Sydney trying to tell us that the light is hot. Cora found that out earlier by putting her hand on it. No major burns, but it sure made her cry.

Cora did recover.

They loved to give Lila loves. I think they were excited that someone was younger than they were.

The end. There's actually so much more to say. My mom came out to stay with us the day after we got back and Jeremy and I went to Vegas for an anesthesia conference, but our computer is so slow it's taken me about an hour just to type in these captions, so we'll save it for another night. In summary: DC was awesome, thanks Melissa and Jon, Sydney threw up on the way home (are you surprised?), we loved driving up the East Coast, but we'll probably love it more when we're not trying to plan it around naps, diapers, and meltdowns (don't ask how early we got up for each drive).

2011-04-21T17:35:00.000-07:00

Don't laugh. OK, you can laugh. I cried. But I can laugh now. You see the above creatures? So did my dog. Pele got arrested today. You want the long story? We had some roofers over today working on our house. They had to go in the back yard to plug in some of their tools and didn't quite get the gate closed. I didn't know and Pele escaped. Since Jeremy was gone and I had the three girls I couldn't go and chase her, we just said a quick prayer that she'd come home to us.

Our prayer was answered, just not as smoothly as I would have hoped. After several attempts to call her in from the porch I had to put the girls in their beds for naps. As I was upstairs I looked out the window and saw her running towards the house. I race downstairs to lure her in with a treat and as I open the door I found she was being followed by a police officer and a small group of people. Turns out a neighbor a few houses down had a couple of chickens in a coop outside and Pele found them. The neighbor was not home, but the kids next door were and they watched her rip the wire off and kill the chickens. So they called the police. None of them knew who the dog belonged to, they just followed her, then told me what happened. It is against city ordinances to have a dog off leash out of your yard. Hence, Pele was to be summoned to court (which entails being arrested for those who didn't know it), but due to the fact she is a dog, I was to be in her place. No handcuffs people, just had to take down my information, get my ID. The officer felt SO BAD. His dog had done the same thing. I cried and cried, I felt bad for the chickens, the lady who owned them (who we could not find), for Pele because she's just following her instincts and is not so sure why she's in trouble, for the roofers because they saw me just cry and cry and they hadn't meant to leave the gate open, and I didn't know what to do.

The owner of the chickens came home later today and I went and apologized to her and now that I'm several hours out of the incidence I can really laugh about it. I don't know if it's me or Pele who now has the criminal record. Either way, this will make for great memories. But I wonder if we ever take her across state lines would that make her a fugitive? Or me?

April Fools

2011-04-01T17:27:00.000-07:00

Although some were predicting up to 12 inches (thank goodness it was much less), it did snow our first day of April. Katie told me how much she loves the snow. So do I, but I love it more in December and January than in April.

Katie is figuring out how to smile for the camera instead of scowl. Look at that beautiful grin. Here's miss Cora. I've started to put the twins' hair in pigtails on occasion, though they're more like little sparklers coming off their heads for how much they just stick up.

Sydney was a little more sad about the picture business.

And this is mana from heaven. The picture's not too swell, but a woman who goes to the same little kid play group we do decided she wanted to give me some of her daughter's old clothes. They are very nice clothes that were washed and carefully folded and brought me to tears. I'm constantly amazed at how much our Father in Heaven watches over us with the sweetest acts of mercy. Clothes shopping is one of my arch-nemesis. 1-I don't want to spend the money. 2-I have no idea how to look for clothes with the three little girls in tow. 3-I have no idea how to look for clothes FOR the three little girls (let alone myself). Picking out clothes, matching clothes, colors, any of that is WAY out of my comfort zone. I tend to gravitate towards things that look like mountains or fields - great for wall hangings, but not so much to wear. So when people hand us clothes that look so good on our daughters I want to cry out of gratitude.

On My Mind

2011-03-27T16:52:00.000-07:00

Today I laughed and cried. A lot. Friday when Jeremy came home he was feeling pretty sick - stomach maybe flue-type sick. Then Cora threw up three times that night, then Katie threw up all over her bed at 1:30 in the morning. We were expecting Sydney and I to catch it, but we never did. Everyone seemed better enough Saturday in the evening. Jeremy was on call, but we had no problems here, so after Jeremy rested this morning we went to church. Our goal was to at least show up and go home with no injuries (it's a dangerous place with three little people). We spent all of Sacrament chasing the three in circles, but we got through it and thought we were OK. Fast forward to the last hour. Jeremy had rocked Sydney to sleep and I was chasing Cora in and out of class. Well, Sydney suddenly woke up and threw up all over Jeremy and the floor. He found me in the hallway, I handed Cora off to I don't even remember who and ran for paper towels to start cleaning them and the floor up. As we were doing that Sydney threw up again all over me and the floor. Jeremy had already used the girls coats to get what he could off the floor, I grabbed the first person I could for help to grab Katie as I hunted down Cora with a vomit covered Sydney in my arms. We cleaned up what we could and got out of there as fast as we could. Sydney threw up again on the way home. Once we were home she would be fine for about 10 minutes, then lose it again. We lost count after 12 times of this. I'm glad she has nothing left in her tummy so she should sleep through the night. I'm optimistic that tomorrow will bring better times. I can deal with a sick baby. But a sick baby with a toddler and another baby feels like a tragic comedy. This is a type of training in patience and compassion I never anticipated. Yet, I really can look on this and laugh, I just cry at the same time. Our weather is super sunny. I love that, but I'm hoping the temp will climb above freezing. It's a sneaky trick from mother nature. You look outside and it looks like the snow is melting. It looks warm. But it's frigid when you go out! However, I am so glad we're getting the longer, brighter days. I even see spots of grass in our once snow covered lawn. What other fun things have happened to us in March? After I posted about making yummy naan, we decided to try it with a chicken tika masala recipe. I should have paid attention that the recipe called for enough salt to kill a colony of slugs. It was SO SALTY!! Jeremy and I both felt like we'd swallowed gallons of ocean water for days. You could taste the salt three mornings later. Yuck. So much for my fancy cooking. I ran a 5K two Saturdays ago. The only way I've been able to get any running in prior to that is if Pele and I go at 5am. It is so hard to get out of your bed at 5! But the mornings I do it I love it. It's so peaceful, I can see the most beautiful stars, and I feel so much better during the day. Anyway, I ran the Shamrock Shuffle on the 19th. Jeremy was my hero and took the girls so I could do it. I was hopeful, but people kept passing me until the last half mile. I just kept going thinking, "oh, well. At least I'm out and doing it." So I was shocked when my time was just under 28 minutes! Then I realized I'd started in front of almost the whole lot of people running and I just kept getting smoked by the fast people. But I'm very proud of myself for what I was able to do. My knees held out (I had to get them checked out, get a couple of knee braces, and get some new PT exercises in January) and I got the T-shirt. I think that's half the part of thing, getting the T-shirt. Other thoughts on the month? Sydney and Cora can now both wave. Sydney's a bit more communicative than Cora. She can do the sign for airplane, ambulance, occassionally "more" and "please," and can get out "da-da." Cora just screams, rolls her tongue, and giggles. Katie picks up new songs and tells stories all the time. They have collectively broken our pantry door, several books, and a myriad of toys. We may be adding Jeremy's phone to the list after it got thrown up on today. We have yet to see how extensive the damage is. If anyone is still reading this, good job. That was a lot to get through. I think I better get to bed before any of the little people wake up sick again.

Photos for the Grandparents

2011-03-17T17:55:00.000-07:00

This was looking out our kitchen window a few week ago. I'm SO glad that it's getting warmer!

Look, a diaper party. Don't ask me which one's which.

This was from some time last week. It was nice enough we decided to play with the remnants of last year's side-walk chalk. It's one of the few pictures of her smiling face.

This was today. We reached 56 the last time I looked at the thermometer. So out we went and I thought a wagon ride would get us a little farther than our shared driveway.

However, as cute as they were, this is what I got every time I tried to get them to look at me for a picture.

Nothing says spring fun like a puddle and a stick. Yes, those are pink boots.

She had to keep dancing with her stick in the air, then tell me she was "running amok."

Cora's action shot.

Sydney's having her fun time in the puddle.

And this is Sydney pointing out the helicopter.

Another action shot of the lovely ladies. Everyone was in tears when we had to come in. But I tell you what, there is something amazing about being able to move around outside for the fun of it, not just to keep warm.

The Gillywatt and Domesticity

2011-03-12T05:18:00.000-08:00

No, a gillywatt's not from Harry Potter. It's an Arctic bird Jeremy and I learned about this last week. In the short summer of the Arctic it nests high on a cliff. When the eggs hatch Mama gillywatt dives 250 ft below the ocean surface and holds her breath for about 20 minutes to get the fish that her little babies need. Jeremy turned to me and said, "And you think it's tough to feed our girls." OK, so at least I don't have to work THAT hard, but they're also done caring for their young in about six months. (I make no claim of spelling the name right or the details right, I have a fuzzy memory.)

Though feeding time may be intense around here, I have branched out a little more with my food skills. In the last two weeks I added poppy seed dressing and naan (an Indian flat bread) to my list of homemade goodies. Though this made me feel relatively impressed with myself, the Lord has a good sense of humor.

I decided I need to make comforters for each of my three girls. I can sew Christmas stockings, so how hard could this be? Ha, ha, ha. I enlisted the help of a friend who is a good seamstress and she took me to look for material. I forgot that things like that include skills such as matching colors. This is not a strength of mine. I half froze in the fabric store, overwhelmed by how many choices and trying to figure out how to put colors together. So I have somewhat commenced on this VERY intimidating project to me. I'm hoping to be done by Christmas.

Let's just say that mastering the domestic skills is a baby step process for me. Sometimes I pity my girls for my lack of textile skills, but then I remember I can teach them how to build fires, cook some yummy food over a fire, use a compass, and tie some fine knots. I wonder what fun things they will teach me.....

Thankful

2011-02-22T18:24:00.000-08:00

I'm thankful for so many things. I don't always remember the many ways I've been blessed, so I wanted to get a few of them written down.

1. The stars. Especially the stars in the winter. They are so crisp and clear. I love I can see Orion, Sirius, and the Seven Sisters at this time of year and that I live in a place where I can see those stars just standing on our porch.

2. My husband. We had our first three day weekend in what seems like eons and we had so much fun. We had a church dance Saturday night (which the girls half loved and were half unsure of what to do with so many people and so much noise), made it through church with humor (always a plus), then just enjoyed a very simple day together Monday. He's so much fun to be with, so goofy and kind, and works his guts out. I love him.

3. My parents. I can't be thankful enough to have to wonderful people to call my mom and dad. I learn a lot from them, have needed their support and listening ears so often, and hope I can grow up to be as loving as they are. They are such good examples for me.

4. My in-laws. The most loving, giving people. I miss being around them and especially playing with the nieces and nephews. I feel very blessed to be a part of the family.

5. My sisters and brother. They each are a special part of my life. I gain so much from their love and friendship and we have a lot of fun when we're together.

6. Our girls. Who would have thought we'd have such an instant family? It's insane. I've never done anything so relentless in my life (mission, Badger Creek, and nursing school included). Yet I love them. So much. I love when Sydney slams her head into my collar bone because she thinks it's affectionate. I love when Cora smiles, runs away from me, and laughs about it when I call her. I love when Katie will look at me in the middle of her dinner and say, "Mommy, we're all children of God." I love that they all want to sit on my lap and read stories (not that the twins have any clue what they're doing, they just know they get to sit on my lap). I love that they can't be apart from each other. I love that Katie climbs in their cribs in the morning to sing them songs and tell them stories (and push them down).

7. Hot apple cider late at night. Mmmmmm.

8. Such a gentle dog.

9. A fuzzy jacket a friend gave me for Christmas years ago.

10. A working car with 4 wheel drive.

11. A neighbor with a snow blower.

12. Scriptures.

13. The ability to read.

14. Good music.

15. A washer and dryer.

16. Shoes that are 7 years old, still fit, and still look the same (I'm not one for finding new things).

17. Pick your own fruit and veggies. It's still months away - but I can't wait for our garden to grow and berry picking season!

18. The body's ability to heal.

19. A God that hears and answers prayers and knows me personally.

20. The people who have touched and continue to touch my life.

That's probably enough for now. Actually, I could keep going, but I need to get myself to bed.

Old Man Winter Came By

2011-02-03T16:11:00.000-08:00

This is our front porch. One thing I've learned about New England is NO ONE uses their front porch. Winter's just the time you can actually see that. We all have back or side doors that get used for everything instead. As for the snow, we're supposed to get more this weekend.
That wall of snow you see is actually the fence to our back yard. We have no where to put the lovely snow other than in giant piles along side our shared driveway. Because the pile on the fence actually dumps into the other side of the fence, it made for a nice ramp for Pele to jump over what you see above.

This is her running across the street as I just watch her take off. I spent a good chunk of this afternoon digging a trench between the fence and the rest of the yard. Now there's just a giant snow mountain that she sits on in the middle of the yard.

My mom's asked for pictures for a while now, so I finally took a few of the girls with our older camera and found some other pictures still on it. This will be a long picture post. Up above is Cora clapping and Syd just gazing lovingly at her mother.

They kept tackling each other on the bed and squealing and giggling.

Cora doing yoga.

Syd showing off her baby blues.

This is what they looked like in August or September (I'm not sure when I took this). They'd just figured out how to stand with support.

Now here they are walking everywhere. Cora really likes turning and running from you when you call her. Good thing I don't have two other kids to chase as well. Wait....

I think this was in September. My little snow bunnies. Whoever designed those was a genius.

This was in September when I took the girls apple picking in Vermont. That's the petting zoo behind Kate. She loved picking the apples and eating them.

Cora had konked out and since I had Sydney on my chest I figured the apples could double with Cora.

Katie loves sticks. She has to carry a stick with her whenever she can. Don't think you can switch sticks on her either - she knows!

I had to put this picture in because it was so funny. This is the top of our stairs. Down the hallway (the direction of their feet) is the bathroom. We'd just finished bathing everybody and they had been so upset. Just crying and wailing the whole time. Jeremy and I took Kate to her room to say good night, planning on getting them and taking them downstairs just after. They followed us out into the hallway crying, but both fell asleep on their faces on Pele's bed. So cute. This was sometime in September.

And last but not least, our current state. Sydney (in the middle) cannot eat without combing the food through her hair. Meal times are just flat out messy. But I'm glad we have food we can eat and also glad that our dog doesn't mind helping with clean-up.

I Showed Up

2011-01-23T17:20:00.000-08:00

As fun as yesterday was, today was a lot of work. Jeremy was on call, which meant I was on my own at church. Between it being in the middle of their naps now (from 1-4pm), it was 5 degrees outside, and I knew I'd be wrestling all three kids during the Sacrament Meeting, I was tempted to stay home. But I didn't. I can remember a teacher somewhere saying at least half of what we do to be faithful in the gospel is to just show up. Well, we showed up.

A friend who has mercifully come to our house usually twice a month to just talk with me or help with the girls came and sat with us only 5 minutes in. She helped with Katie while I tried to get the girls to realize they were OK to just SIT on my lap. My friend ended up taking Katie back to sit with her family and another friend sat by me to help with the girls. They didn't want anyone else to hold them but me. Not that they wanted to sit still by any means, they just had to be touching me or have me touching them. I was in much better humor this time around and laughed a lot. But the rest of the three hour block was still a bit ridiculous. Katie was brought to me twice so she could use the bathroom (I'm so proud of how well she's doing!) and both times I would leave two screaming babies in the arms of someone else while I took her to the bathroom. As I stood outside of Relief Society for the last part of church a friend talked to me about how it's hard to not just stay home when you have to do it alone.

I thought about that. There are so many women in our ward that regularly bring their kids to church alone. Whether it's an unsupportive spouse, health reasons, stake callings, or, as is the case with most of us, husbands working, we still come. Week after week I watch as we take turns helping each other or sympathetically - more like empathetically - staring in amazement and listening supportively as we all strive to remember why we do this, why we come. Then I also see those who come completely alone - no spouse or kids - and how much they need love and support and we all reach out to each other.

The truth is it would be easier to stay home than come to church every Sunday. It would be easier to not worry about what we listen to, watch, or wear. For me it would be easier to work and pay for a nanny than it is to stay home (fortunately, Jeremy's income and insurance are enough I don't have to). But I can't. I know what I believe. I know what's important to me. Easier doesn't mean happier. I choose the things I do because I have faith in a God who keeps his promises, who answers prayers, who can see the whole picture, who loves me eternally and wants me to have lasting happiness and peace. These little daily sacrifices are hard, but they are shaping me and helping me become a more compassionate, more patient, and better person. As hard as it is to have all three of them so dependent on me day in and day out, it's those moments that are shaping their lives, their faith and understanding, their picture of what love is and who they are. I cannot give that away, it will never come back. I go to church every Sunday because my girls need to know that when I make a commitment to our God I will stand by it and not change my mind because it's harder than it used to be. I see what those other awesome moms are also doing. They are modeling and teaching that there is more to them and their lives than their own personal comfort. They are willing to make those tiny sacrifices to show their faith and commitment. It's not to show anyone else than their God, their family, and themselves, but now that I strive to do it too, I see it.

I had no idea that my faith would be so tested as a mother. And there are so many other ways as well. But for today I am happy to say: I showed up.

Dream Big

2011-01-23T16:46:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, with Jeremy home and all of us in a good mood, we decided to have a big family outing. Where would a family of 5 (three being under the age of three) with no money go in sub zero temperatures in a small town you ask? Well, besides our bi-weekly trip to the dump (anyone who has not been here needs to count their blessings if their trash is picked up by the city), we ventured out to the Home Depot!

Knowing we'll have to sell this most beloved house (I am not being sarcastic, I adore our century-old house) in a year or two, I'm betting on needing to replace the carpet before we get there. I've never shopped for carpet, cabinets, or anything, so we thought we'd just go to dream. We got our fill from the carpet guy, then wandered through wood floor samples (which make fabulous wood blocks for bored children), cabinet and counter displays, new ovens, washers and dryers, dishwashers, and refrigerators. I tell you what, I was blown away. I didn't know there was so much you could do to a home. Let alone the range of prices and varieties for each thing. We were probably only there for an hour before our little brood began to fidget and fuss, and we walked out of there with stars in our eyes of someday doing some big project on a future home.

Home we went and carried on with the rest of our Saturday. However, when it came time to start cleaning and I spent a bit too much time pulling things out of our carpet and almost hand feeding it to our decrepit vacuum cleaner, we both realized the first home-improvement project we should really be saving for is a working vacuum cleaner. We are dreamin' big.

What Do I Want to Remember About Today?

2011-01-10T18:41:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, knowing the wide range of people who read this I don't get as personal as I'd like. I want this to be a better history of our family. Maybe we will end up going private as well. But I will start with what are the things I want to remember about this week of our family life?

We started out the week taking Pele to the vet. She started limping Friday night when we brought her in. I checker her out and couldn't find anything, and her appetite dramatically changed the next morning. So Monday she went in, it sounded like Lyme disease, but the lab work came back negative. I have some anti-inflammatories for her, but she's still limping a lot and we don't really know what to do for her. She doesn't seem to notice it, she still just wants to run in the snow. But, just as I felt with Sydney's stomach weirdness last fall and with her breathing issues two weeks ago, it's hard for me to seek the medical help when we end with more questions than answers. She goes back to the vet in two weeks and I hope we can figure something out by then.

We all are now recovered from one of the worst colds I've had in a long time. No matter which decongestant I tried it didn't change a thing. We all got better just in time for Sydney and Cora's birthday. They're a year old now. It's unbelievable. I was so focused on just making it to x amount of weeks, then to six months. Now they're at a year and sleeping through the night (most nights). They are both walking. They love playing with Jeremy, Katie, Pele, and I. They growl and roll their tongue. I am constantly so happy with all of them and so overwhelmed at how much is demanded of me every day. I don't know what I'll do when they're in bigger car seats. I currently take all three to the store by putting Katie in the seat in the cart, one of their carseats goes in the cart, and I have one strapped to my chest. When they're out of those seats I may be in trouble. All three girls will be in Nursery together this year. Those poor people. My children are loud! As for what we did for their birthday, I made jello and stuck a candle in it. I don't mean to be a party pooper, but I know they won't remember it right now, they got plenty of presents for Christmas and from family, so we were fine with no gifts.

We were so happy to have Jeremy home for the weekend! New month means new rotation and we're back to a better call schedule. Church was a little rough though. Better put, we almost killed our children. It was ward conference and our first family going to afternoon church (the girls and Jeremy stayed home sick last week). Well, because everyone was tired we were spinning in circles. Poopy diapers, trips to the bathroom, singing Christmas songs when no one was singing, throwing fits, shouting things to anyone near by, falling on faces, and fits in the isle - it's one of those things you can't understand unless you've done it. Then our Sunday School lesson was on teaching your children by example and we were both wondering how we could not kill them. Yet we survived. We got them to bed that night and I just cried. I love them. They're beautiful. There's nothing else I want to do, but what I wouldn't give sometimes to have a couple of hours to myself that wouldn't be used to make dinner or clean the house. Or to have a reliable babysitter who doesn't charge $12 an hour so Jeremy and I could go snowshoeing.

And for whatever reason, after balling my eyes out I felt so much better this morning. We had fun again. Katie loves to just sing anything - LOUD. She puts two hats on her head and tells me she's an elf. Then she will give something to Sydney or Cora and run over and tell me "I'm choosing to be a angel. I shared with her. I'm a angel." She wants to help me make anything in the kitchen and always wants to read stories. I wish I could take her on winter wonderland adventures, but as long as I have two other babies we are very limited in our outings. As everyone loves to remind me, I will look back on this and miss it. There are definitely things I will miss. Sydney, Cora, and Katie love to be held, rocked, and sang to. I love how quickly they give their love and smiles. I love watching Sydney and Cora play tug-of-war with things - a plastic cup to a stuffed animal to a cookie cutter. I love how our family home evenings last about 2 and a half minutes - including the song, prayer, scripture, and lesson. But Katie loves them and we look at each other knowing we're doing all we can.

I have an incredible husband who teaches me so much about patience, endurance, hard work, and love. He laughed so hard when he was playing with the girls tonight. They would tackle him, then he'd tickle them and they would squeal and giggle. It was a beautiful sight. I'm so glad Sundays are important to him. I'm glad he likes what I cook and that he's so determined to do things well. He is a miracle in my life.

As for me, I feel like I'm relearning how to reach out to people. I never thought it would become so difficult to do when I became a mother, but I really have to work at it. I am seeking to learn from so many women who each know things about mothering that have helped and guided me.

We are going to have a great year. It may be just as insane as the last as we go through Fellowship applications, three toddlers, and a currently gimpy dog, but I can't help but feel things will keep getting better.

Happy New Year

2010-12-31T18:17:00.000-08:00

Sydney is doing better. The wheezing has dramatically decreased, so we're happy. I was getting dinner ready when I suddenly realized this is the last day of 2010. We talked over dinner a little about what our year has been like - sleep deprived! We had the girls January 5th and I can't recall a whole lot of what has happened since then. We did make it to the beach and the White Mountains. We took a trip out to see family. I took the girls with my Dad to see my little sister in DC. Katie's talking and singing and running and really never stops. She started Nursery in church this year. This year has really just flown by and we're really hoping we'll be more awake this coming year. I'm proud that we have survived the first year of twins. I don't know that I've ever been so stretched in my whole life. I think the Lord knows it's good for me to learn I can't do everything on my own, that it's good to learn I need help too. I'm glad a new year is starting and I'm sure this one will pass just as quickly. We hope everyone else has a very good New Year. We will be celebrating ours soundly asleep. Well, if the girls cooperate, that is.

Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to the hospital we go....

2010-12-29T17:48:00.000-08:00

Our blessed festivities somehow brought the dark angel of sickness to our entire house. Infections abound and we had to take Sydney to the hospital yesterday where she received a couple of breathing treatments. She received another one this evening and tomorrow morning we're going back to see if she needs to be admitted to the hospital or if she's on the mend. Nothing like a mysterious illness to keep you on the edge of your seat (RSV? Reactive airway? Pneumonia? Or just a nasty cold that is ravaging her poor little body?) We were finally gaining weight again! Jeremy's on call tonight and I'm just trying to think of other things while I'm really hoping I don't need to call the neighbors (who so graciously offered to come at the drop of a hat) in the middle of the night to take Syd to the hospital. She's super wheezy, her respiration rate gets pretty high, and she can't seem to stop coughing. It's funny how you can feel very grateful and blessed, and overwhelmed and on the verge of tears at the same time. So I'm just killing time putting up pictures when I should be crawling in bed.

This is when we first got back. I got all three of the gals in the wagon and we walked to the cemetery and back. They all thought it was great fun. So did I until Sydney decided to check out what was over the edge.
Ah, memories of my clean-shaven husband. It's now winter and he's growing one manly beard. They call him "Winter Jeremy" at work.

Alas, a typical family scene - the diaper change pajama party on the kitchen floor!

There's our little Sydvicious - pre-sick - toddling between the two of us.

What they really like to do is Syd rides it and Cora pushes her. This tandem ride didn't last too long.

The comment about not enough snow last post? It snowed that night and the next day. We got about 20 inches and a lot of cold wind. It's beautiful, but I haven't dared to take the sickies out yet. Pele loved digging her little holes in the snow to curl up in.

No pictures, please. (It's Cora)

This is what Amy, Katie, and I did the real Christmas morning while Jeremy was on call. We were given this awesome train set by our neighbors who's son never opened it. I was determined to figure out a way to have them all connect.

This was the pageant our kids put on Christmas Eve. Katie was so excited to be an angel, though I think she had no clue what was really going on.

I best be going to bed now. I've been hearing the three of them take turns coughing on and off. Here's to my call shift at home!

Happy Merry

2010-12-26T17:08:00.000-08:00

Another Christmas come and gone. It's always a time for pondering. I had a ball this season getting things ready. One, it was such a blessing to be able to do things (last year we were waiting for the twins to come and hoping there'd be some of me left to take care of them). Two, since Katie is now 2 and a half, she was old enough to be excited about things and young enough to love the simple things. We put up lights on our roof line and cherry tree. We got a full size Christmas tree and decorated it. We had Christmas music on all the time. The result of that was Katie running around the house shouting "Angels We Have Heard on High," "The First Noel," and "Silent Night." I'd wake up to her singing those songs and "The Little Drummer Boy" to her stuffed animals and Sydney and Cora. She wraps up anything she can in a blanket and says it's baby Jesus lying in the stable. As cute as she may be, we spend a lot of time learning how to be kind to Mommy and the sisters.

Sydney and Cora are both walking now. Well, at the beginning of it. Cora can take several steps, even turn and keep walking once she's up on her feet. Sydney can take 3-4 steps at a time, and stand there forever holding anything. They both get excited whenever they see Jeremy or I, or even each other. They both stick their hands up in the air at random times and we just give them high fives. It makes them smile and laugh. Sydney has recovered since our last post. She is inhaling whatever we feed her. We have them in separate cribs now. Cora was repeatedly caught beating up on Sydney, though there have been a few times now that Sydney tries to get even when they're out toddling around.

That's how our girls are. Jeremy finished his pediatric rotation in November and he'll finish with the ICU this next week. We don't see him a whole lot, and he's pretty sleepy when we do see him. But we've had a good time when he's around.

I've been loving the Christmas season in New England though I am slightly disappointed in the amount of snow we've received. It's only been small dustings. Though we did get enough one day to put Katie in a laundry basket, tie Pele to it, and let her pull Katie down a little hill. I'm plotting how to get Pele pulling all three of them on a sled, we just need more snow. I will get pictures up sooner or later, and try to post some deep thoughts. In the mean time I'll just give a Christmas re-cap. It was awesome. We had Christmas Eve at the neighbors with some other families. Dinner, music, and a live nativity provided by the children of each family. We laughed and enjoyed ourselves. Christmas day was really low key. My friend, Amy Lou came to visit us for Christmas and we cooked up some serious Cajun Jambalaya. Well, she cooked and I watched. Then we made cookies that I took to Jeremy that night. All the girls were relatively sick this morning, so I went to church while Amy watched the girls and Jeremy was still in the ICU. Going to church, being able to listen, read my scriptures, and participate was the best Christmas present I could have asked for. When I got home Jeremy was asleep upstairs and Amy and I got Christmas dinner ready, the house picked up, and presents laid out for our Christmas evening. The wrapping paper and ornaments were probably the favorites, as always for the little people. Amy did get a nice video of Kate singing one of her songs if anyone wants to see it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=knbdRjVkp18

She says only family will truly appreciate this. Cast your votes people!

Primary's

2010-11-18T17:58:00.001-08:00

So, so sad. When Katie and I got back from the mountain Monday, November 1st, I took the twins upstairs for their nap. Almost to the top Sydney just plastered me, herself and Cora in the same vomit that had been coming out for a week and a half by that point. She was losing weight and it really showed. She reminds me a bit of Gollum here. Jeremy thought she looked like a survivor of a concentration camp. She only weighed 15 lbs 5 oz the day before we flew out and in less than a week's time she was at 14 lbs 4 oz. After trying scheduled Zofran, 3 IV infusions, a KUB, 2 CBCs, and a UA with no clear improvement, the pediatrician in Cedar and I decided it was best to head to Primary Children's in Salt Lake. I can't be grateful enough for my mom. She came straight home from work and took over Katie and Cora, had almost all of my things packed by the time I got back from the Dr.'s office, and watched those two from that night until Thursday night, when she made the 4 hour drive with them in tow. I didn't have to worry about them at all and could focus just on Sydney. It was the first time they were separated and I worried about that a little, but I think they both enjoyed how much individual attention they got (Sydney was held almost every second she was awake and I know Cora was held a lot, too). They sure melted my heart when they got back together though. They just smiled, reached for each other, and cooed. Katie was so excited to see Jeremy (he flew out a day early and she hadn't seen him for two weeks) that she ran up to him, wrapped her little arms around him, and said, "My Daddy! I love my Daddy."
Here's my angel sister, Ann, holding little Sydney. She just loved to rock and cuddle with Ann. Ann just let me lay there half asleep and still visit with her. It was the most quiet time the two of us have had together probably since her first girl was born. As much as no one wants to hang out at the hospital on vacation, it was a lot better to be there with family close enough to visit.
Here's my little girl in her gown. We walked the halls of the hospital many a time and ran into several people I knew from nursing school and work. What happened? We still don't really know. We just pumped her full of fluids again. She had an upper GI study (basically she drank liquid chalk under an x-ray), that showed her stomach was emptying kind of slow. They ran labs. She had an endoscopy. They took biopsies. Everything came back negative. Go figure. So it's a good thing nothing was found, yet we still don't know what happened. She threw up a few more times once she was discharged, but she is definitely heading in the up direction. I'm grateful it was something so small. I think I say that and some people think I'm nuts. But anyone more familiar with the medical field knows there are such awful things that kids and their families have to go through. We were not up against a chronic or terminal disease. We have insurance. No surgery. No months to years of prescriptions. We were able to get into the hospital and know that it was clean (if you've seen health care in other countries then you'll understand what I mean by that statement).

Yes, I really wanted to know what was going on with Sydney. I didn't want her to be hurting, but having seen some very painful things in hospitals, I knew the couple of sticks she was receiving that were helping her get better wouldn't be a problem. She did so well with the staff there. She really adored several of her nurses and was great with letting the docs check her out. Syd was a trooper. It was nice when we got to leave though. Sleeping in a bed without the lights, beeps and 4am vitals was so good!

Next Round

2010-11-18T17:31:00.001-08:00

Are those sheep, you say? In the middle of town, you ask? Yes, and yes. Since I have left Cedar a new tradition has begun. Going back to the sheep herding roots, the town has a livestock festival every fall. We were lucky enough to be there to catch the parade which ended with a grand finale of sheep running down main street. What you're seeing in the left of the picture was a minor stampede just before they got to us. I guess they wanted to see another part of town.
This is the back of Katie's and my mom's head. Katie was quite concerned that the sheep's "legs were hurt" and that they needed band-aids because she could see the blood that some of them had on them from running each other over. Has anyone else noticed that sheep are not that smart and we are constantly compared to sheep in the scriptures? But the more I watch myself and the world around me I think it's a good analogy.
Here's Cora and Sydney dressed for the big day and sitting on my dad's lap. I actually ran a 5K that morning. I didn't think I'd feel old with a bunch of college kids, but then I remembered I'm turning 30 this year. I'm not saying that's old. It was just weird to realize I'm not the same age as the college crowd anymore. Sydney hadn't thrown up in two days so we felt good about that. Then we end our day with....

Trick or treating! Yes, it's the same costume she had last year. And she'll probably still fit it for the next 4 years. But at least I bought her a hat this year! Not that it stayed on her head....

My brother is one of the semi-head honchos at the ski/board place near Cedar City. Katie and I spent Monday morning going up to see him. It's an awesome place because it's pretty personal and laid back. It was fun to see him at his job. Then Katie and I had to go find some snow to play in. Too bad I forgot her mittens.

The Beginning of Vacation Pictures

2010-11-15T19:31:00.000-08:00

All 8 of these lovely children were housed at my parents house for 3 days. Seven of which were in diapers. Let me tell you what a mad house it was. It was a ball at the same time. We were a sad that we didn't have Jeremy and Jess there, and family pics were limited to the grand kids. What an adventure it was to get all of them to hold still and look in the right direction. At least we picked a fun park.
Here I am with Cora.

There's my dad helping Van the man down the slide.

Cousin Kaylee.

Another noble attempt at a group pic.

Sydney and Cora, enjoying everyone trying to get them to smile. Poor Sydney. This is before her first trip to the Pedi office to get an IV. She was not feeling so great.

And here's Sydney post first IV. We sure thought that would be all she needed. Surprise, surprise. I'll be adding more pictures later.

Home

2010-11-14T11:51:00.000-08:00

We pulled into our home in beautiful New Hampshire at 6:15pm last night. I don't know how I feel about calling that a restful vacation. It was kind of forever. We came home to little posters with sweet notes taped all over our porch and door, a huge banner in our kitchen saying, "Welcome Home, Pele missed you," a fresh gallon of milk in the fridge, and a chicken dish waiting in the fridge to be put in the oven. We have the best neighbors in the world. Sounds like we got home just in time though. Pele had stopped eating yesterday. I think she really felt abandoned. She was so happy to see us and all is well again. Anyone who has spent some time away from home knows that wonderful feeling of coming back to your own bed, fridge, bathroom, and having a good place for time-outs.

As we drove passed the trees, the early 1900 cape style homes, the rivers, and could smell that we were home I pondered over how split and torn I feel inside at times. Where the heck is home? During the three weeks we were out there I spent time in Cedar City (where I went to high school and my parents and grandparents still live), Salt Lake (where I worked and went to school for 5 years, Jeremy's family, and my sister and her family live), and in Idaho (where I went to school and worked for 2 years). I visited with family, friends, old roommates, teachers, and co-workers that have all been a part of my life. I feel like I have left threads of my soul everywhere I've been and truly loved what I have gained from each person and place. Utah, Spokane, Florida, Idaho, New Hampshire, Maryland, it all feels like home. Even staying at Primary Children's hospital for that week in a way felt like home because it reminded me so much of working at Shriners. In a way that really did feel like a vacation because there was only one child to take care of, I was not responsible for laundry or meals, and there were several people around I could always ask to hold Sydney so I could shower or eat. That would not have been the case if things were more life-threatening. This is all beside the point though.

I talked to my mom about all of this - how I feel like I may never be whole because everywhere I am I miss parts of and people from where I've been. As we talked she said something that reminded me of something CS Lewis says in Mere Christianity. I'm not going to quote him perfectly, but more or less that we will never feel completely whole until we are with God again. That all of the love and joy we feel in this life, all of our good memories and peaceful feelings are shadows of what life is like with our Heavenly Father. Only then will we feel complete. So to all of those who have been pieces of Heaven in my life, who have helped me feel the love of Heavenly Father through their love, friendship, and examples (even the ones who don't believe in God!), I just want to express how much joy you have given me. Even the ones I almost never have contact with anymore. My life has been so enriched because of yours, so thank you. Friends from Badger Creek, Cedar City, roommates, people at Shriners, mission companions, people at the Burn Unit, most especially family, and this list can keep going on, but I just wanted to express how grateful I am for the love of so many and how amazing life has been.

I don't know where Jeremy and I will end up. And we'll always miss the places we've been. I'm just grateful for the faith that we can be made whole in the next life and that all of our experiences are for our good.

Discharge

2010-11-04T09:04:00.000-07:00

Good news. Sydney barfed all over herself and her crib during her nap yesterday, which was just before the docs rounded. Why is this good you say? Because that meant we moved on to an endoscopy and they found some spots of infection. Which translates to WE KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON. She's done great with all the fluid we gave her and has been drinking formula without any problems. So Sydney and I are checking out today, Jeremy rearranged his flight and will be here in a few hours, and we still have over a week to be here with so much family support and a staff very aware of what's going on that we can contact if we start to go backwards. She'll be on an antibiotic and an acid blocker for a while, but she looks TONS better and I'm excited to have all of our family together again.

It has been humbling to walk these halls (sometimes at 5am) and see what so many families have to deal with. I wonder why I ever complain. We get to go home. I have three beautiful daughters, I'm married to a wonderful man, and have so much extended family always there for us. Life is far from perfect, but it all depends on where my focus is if I'm going to enjoy life or suffer through it. I guess you have to suffer through parts of it to understand the joy of it. But again, I feel very blessed. We'll see how I feel after making that long flight again with all the girls, but I still know we're blessed.

2010-11-02T16:17:00.000-07:00

It seems I spoke too soon in the last post. The morning after I posted Sydney barfed up everything all over me again. She looked much too skinny and we could tell we were headed down hill again. So this time we ended up going to Salt Lake and we're currently hanging out at Primary Childrens. We're not quite sure what's wrong, but any anatomical problems have been ruled out and we're onto the guessing games of which bug to battle. She's doing much better after having IV fluids running all night long and has done really well with the staff here. I don't know how long we'll be here, but for whatever is going on, we couldn't be in a better position. The staff are wonderful, we've got so much family support, and both Jeremy and I having had different rotations here I feel pretty comfortable. I do wish Jeremy were here, but he will be Friday and hopefully we are out of here by then.

There's No Place Like...

2010-10-31T22:15:00.000-07:00

We've been in Cedar City now just over a week. What a week it has been. The day before we left, Sydney and Cora had their 9 month well check and did not pass. The stinkers are below the 5th percentile (though for twins they're actually doing really well and are growing fine, they're just small), and they both had ear infections. Since we were flying out the next morning the doc gave me an antibiotic script for them and told me to be liberal with the Tylenol and Motrin. We got on the plane and we were doing well, Sydney was about asleep and then just vomited everywhere. My girls were pukers before, but this was out-right vomit. The woman in front of was was ready to vomit herself. So I handed my mom Miss Cora and got down on the floor with paper towels and water and scrubbed it out of the carpet on the plane (the flight attendants gave me glovees). Nothing else exciting that day, we made it to Salt Lake, drove down just fine, and the girls even slept all night. Next day Sydney puked at lunch. We thought, OK, maybe a 24 hour thing, I think we're done.

All of the fam showed up Sunday night (minus Ann's hubby and my own with their jobs). So we had 8 kids in this house with only 1 over the age of 3. Four were all born this last year. There were just not enough arms for how many babies we had. Sydney threw up that night and we thought this has got to be it. I bought her some Pedialyte, she drank it and we thought we were OK.

We wanted to get some family pics of all the grandkids together and decided to do that Tuesday morning. Tuesday morning comes and as we're feeding the twins breakfast Sydney has everything come up again. It's so sad because it just keeps coming. By this point she's looking too skinny. Thank goodness Mom has the hook-ups here. Through her job she works with a peds office on a regular basis so they got us right in. Sydney got her first IV that afternoon. She was not impressed, but the gal was a rockstar and got it in on the first poke. We gave her fluid, she perked up, we took her home and thought all was well. She threw up again Wednesday afternoon as we were getting stuff ready for my dad's birthday dinner. And again Thursday morning. So I took Sydney in again Thursday afternoon and we got a few labs done and another IV in. Another bolus, an x-ray, we left the line in and put more fluid in her Friday morning. She'd dropped almost a pound in this whole experience. When you weigh 15 pounds, that's a big deal. But she gained almost all of it back by Friday and she has been chowing down her food over the last 2 days. She looks better and is much more interactive.

As hard as it was to be away from home, it was also a lifesaver to be at my old home because of all the family support and built-in babysitters for Cora and Katie. The Dr's office got us right in and took great care of us. I'm so glad she'd doing better now and we'll just keep fattening her up with ice cream mixed with carnation mixes.

I went for a Halloween 5K run in the morning yesterday. Then Katie, my mom, and I went to a sheep-herding parade down main street, then Katie and my dad and I went trick-or-treating last night. She loved dressing up like a witch and getting candy. I didn't like living in such a small town when I was younger. I thought it was such a lame place. It's nice to be proven wrong. This is a wonderful town with all kinds of things to do and some really amazing people. I am learning more and more that home for me is a bit of everywhere. There are things I love about everywhere I've lived. Who knows where Jeremy and I will end up, I just know I'm grateful to call so many wonderful places home.

Pruning

2010-10-31T21:22:00.000-07:00

Well, I tried to post about this before I left New Hampy, but as I was reading it to my mom I hit some crazy key and erased the whole entry, so here I am trying to recap whilst my little girls sleep and I'm wishing I was here in Cedar City, Utah.

My mom came out to visit us October 16th. She was staying for a week and then she and I were flying back West with the three little girls for a couple of weeks before Jeremy would come out to join us. The morning before she came Jeremy and I spent most of the morning out in the garden digging up plants and pruning the raspberry bushes since we'd had a few frosts and new the season was over. I thought about our little garden with pride. We were very blessed with our crops and I learned a few things in the process.

Our cherry tomato plants were enormous. Jungle size. I trimmed the plants 5 times throughout the season as they continued to overshadow the peppers, zucchini, and regular tomato plants. I would watch, tend to, and trim the garden and think "take care of what you've got." I doubt that's grammatically correct, but what I was seeing was by letting some of the plants grow unchecked, I was putting the entire crop in danger. The huge plants were taking the sun and nutrients from the surrounding plants, and even the cherry tomato plant itself began to have a diminished crop. There was not enough strength in the plant to support all of the growth and continue to produce as well as it had.

Put this together with President Uchtdorf's talk about simplifying and I can't help but apply it to life. As good as growth (aka - more good things to do) may be, there is a tipping point when it is no longer a good thing, but a drain on what you currently have/are. Small confession: as much as I don't want to, I do compare myself at times. I see other people my age doing different things that are wonderful with their lives and wonder if I should be doing it too (because apparently mothering 3 under 3 isn't enough for myself at times). Then I think of this lesson and realize if I don't take care of what I have and continually try to add more to my plate, our little family and my soul will suffer from being malnourished.

I'm not advocating doing nothing, being a sloth, or thinking life is always perfect the way it is. But just as with the plants in our garden, controlled growth brings the greatest crop from the garden. It takes a lot of courage and strength to simplify life, and a constant effort to keep the important things in the top priority slots.

The comment overhead about mothering my 3 under 3 not being enough was indeed sarcastic. There are so many days when I am reduced to tears as I strive just to feed all of us all three meals and actually get out the door to anything. It's hard for me right now to figure out what to simplify. I can't say "I don't feel like putting dinner together tonight." That means the five of us starve. I can't say "I don't want to do laundry or change bums today." That would mean sore bottoms and no clothes to wear. So often what gets dropped is food and drink for myself, personal scripture study, and exercise. Yet those are the things that really help me have the strength I need to give this family everything. There is no all reaching answer here other than to be aware and continually assess the important things, always seeking a balance. I'm so grateful for inspired counsel from our apostles and prophets that helps me make the changes I need in my life. I want to remember this lesson of simplifying and pruning as our family continues to grow (I'm talking in age now, not numbers) and keep my eye out for unruly growth so our crop will be good.

Family Pics

2010-10-18T18:14:00.000-07:00

We tried our luck at different locations asking random people to take our photos and we got some pretty good results. But we never can get Katie to smile on purpose for a picture.

Fall

2010-09-30T07:34:00.000-07:00

It's my favorite time of year, and one of the best places to be for it! So I found this picture from our pumpkin picking last year and had to compare. I can hardly remember her being this small, but I do remember her stumbling around the pumpkin patch.

And here we have her running around this year. Yes, we're in a cemetery, but I swear I'm not morbid. Our house is on the other side of the trees you see in the background, so it's really close and it's flat, no cars, no other kids, the grass is mowed, it's just a great place to let her run and there's an amazing maple tree with beautiful leaves that I wanted to get some pictures of.
I love the bright colors with the blue sky and dark branches!

And here's some fun picks of the girls. Sydney's on the left and Cora's on the right.

Sydney's doing some serious leaf inspection.

Poor Cora is stuck and sucking her thumb.

It's amazing how wonderful everything is when you see it for the first time.

2010-09-20T16:55:00.000-07:00

If I keep waiting to get pictures up then I won't be posting for another month. Here's a little recap. We took Jeremy to the ER on Labor Day. We'd gone to our church's picnic, had a blast visiting and playing with people, then the boys started a game of football. Jeremy was doing great, but the last play he was looking over his shoulder as he was running and stepped in a whole. Luckily, one of the guys there was an ortho doc and he told us to call if we needed help. At first Jeremy was just going to go home and ice it, but after we got home and started icing it, decided otherwise. We went to Dartmouth-Hitchcock's ED and the wait was 5 hours with a few more traumas arriving soon. So we called our friend and he took us into his clinic. After a few x-rays we found a tiny little hair-line fracture in the outside ankle bone. Jeremy got a boot out of the deal and was back at work the next day. We're so glad it didn't need to be casted, and he's been a real trouper still helping with the three kids as much as he can.

That Friday Jeremy was on-call and our church was having a mother-daughter/women's camp-out at a small lake East of Manchester. I haven't been camping for a while and have been wanting to take the girls all summer. I figured it'd either be crazy at home, or in the woods, so we chose the woods. I took me all day to pack enough stuff, but we did it. It was an hour and a half drive and the girls were great. I couldn't get a single picture taken because the entire time was spent somehow feeding or holding one of the three, but it was beautiful. We had a fireside overlooking the lake which had the sun going down behind it. There were other women there and several 10 year old girls just dying to hold the little ones or help with Katie. We were in a little Adirondack cabin. It had screen covered openings on all four sides and 8 bunk beds with little mattresses. I set the girls up in two pack and plays on the floor (they're like portable cribs). I knew it was going to be cold, so Katie was in two shirts, a coat, sweat pants, and winter jammies and completely buried in blankets. The girls were in long jammies, winter fuzzy jammies, and these snow suits that covered their heads, hands, feet, and everything else. They were so bundled up they were stuck in a little snow angel position. The stars were beautiful, I couldn't get enough of being in the forest, and I was so proud of us for doing it. We packed up the next morning and made it home in time for lunch.

This last week Katie had a short trip to the ER due to a playground crash. She bit the back of her tongue so hard it sliced through and there was a little flap. I felt a little silly about going in, but I wanted to make sure she wasn't going to have a forked tongue in the future. She did great and the doctor and nurses were fabulous. No repair needed, but as I was signing the discharge paper she fell on her face again and bit her lip and that started bleeding. I just picked her up and said we better go home and get you a Popsicle. The doctor just looked at me and said I was a very cool, calm, and collected mother. He was very impressed. The nurses wanted to know how I was smiling with three small children in tow (the twins were with us). They don't know I was smiling because I was so happy to converse with adults!

Those are the big happenings. I'm excited for Conference coming up. This will be the first one Jeremy will be home for in the last 2 years. I'm sure glad DirecTV lets us pick up BYUTV so we can watch it at home. To take this crew to the church to watch the broadcast would be a joke. Technology is amazing.

Fall is definitely here. The leaves are turning all kinds of reds, yellows, oranges, intermixed with the green pines. The air is crisp, we went apple picking Saturday, and the smell of apple cider was intoxicating. I feel like I need to buy school supplies (though I'm so glad I don't need to, just feeding everyone costs enough money). Pele gets super excited to go out and run in the cool air. I love being able to wear sweat shirts again. Katie likes the leaves that fall to the ground. I feel so blessed to live here and see these amazing colors! My mom's coming out in October and we're excited for that.

We've been trying out having the girls sleep in Katie's room at night again. Katie actually asks for it each night: "how bout I think the girls sleep with you tonight." Most nights it goes well, but some nights we have to go in and get her and all of her blankets and stuffed animals out of the girls' crib. She can climb out of hers and into theirs. It's so cute and at the same time you just want them all to sleep and not stay up and play or beat on each other. But I love it. Both Sydney and Cora love to follow Katie when they play. And Katie loves to include them, when she's not taking away their toys.

Life is good. There are still many a day I feel like I've lost my mind. I find some way to escape and bawl my eyes out for a bit, then I get it together and can do this again. Parenthood, particularly motherhood, is a marathon that does not end. There is no praise of man for making sure your kids get their vegetables in every day, everyone has clean clothes on, or getting the dishes done for the eighth time that day, but I've never been so tested, stretched, strengthened, guided, and blessed.

One Month Later...

2010-09-05T12:13:00.000-07:00

Guess it's been a while since I've really done any updating, so here's the last month's photo review. Yes, the girls still sleep in the crib and it melts my heart when I catch moments like this.
Jeremy's sister, Lori, came out to see us for a week in August. At first I attempted to potty train Katie that week, and it only lasted a day. The temper-tantrum-twos convinced me it's OK to wait a little longer. So we spent the rest of Lori's time here out and about. This was a picture of our visit to a farm in the area that gives you free cheese and syrup samples. They also have animals for the kids to visit and Katie loved talking to the chickens.

I had to put this picture up to show we have record of her smiling as opposed to her currently preferred scowl.

It's sure nice to have so many people come visit us. I enjoy the long talks I get to have with everyone and it's nice to get out more with the girls. Lori and I had a blast, especially once we found a good ice cream place.

My dad would say to me sometimes growing up, "it's all who you know." Well that's true for us in this case. Jeremy's buddy helped us get seats to a Red Sox game at Fenway Park. We took the girls and Lori had Kate, then Jeremy and Lori went to another game the next night. Our little troopers did great for the whole nine innings.

Us and the Green Monster.

Aunt Lori only spoiled Katie a little. Katie sure enjoyed having her to play with so much.

We were able to spend a little bit of time with John before I took the girls back home.

These stinkers are 8 months old now. Sydney still army scoots when she wants to go fast, but she was the first to stand up on her own and has taken a few steps holding onto things. Cora's great at crawling and has been standing up a little now as well.

Katie picked this car up at a used lot in town. I told her she could drive it if she covered the insurance. She took us for a ride to several friends' houses that day.

We did a quick hike one of the evenings when it had started to cool down (no longer 90 degrees). Kate was a little devastated we weren't going to let her swim in the lake at the end of the hike. You just can't please everyone, can you?

We have a semi-more reliable way to tell the girls apart now since the nail polish comes off so easily. Cora always sucks her thumb and Sydney always sucks her two fingers. I love it because there is no need for a pacifier (one more thing I don't have to worry about losing or forgetting).

The corner between our two couches has been sweetly named "Pooh Corner," where all the toys reside when they're put away. I was doing something in the kitchen when I noticed how quiet it was. All three had crawled in there and were quite entertained.

It's not make-up, it's blue berries. We've picked them three times now and they are delicious! I figured I better share with the girls. If only it wouldn't become random spots of purple puke throughout the house.

The previous picture was Cora, this is Sydney.

Here's our Labor Day weekend hike somewhere in the White Mountains.

Nothing like goldfish to rejuvenate you.

The girls just can't get enough of Daddy being home.

I cut Katie's hair a week ago. We were driving back from picking berries and she brushed all her hair out of her eyes and said, "Now see!" I figured I had to do something. Jeremy read to her and she held pretty still. I need to get a better picture of it. It's even, but the bangs are super short. It looks good if I pull her hair back. For my first haircut, I'm proud of myself. Hopefully my skills get a little better as we all get older.

Houston, We Have a Problem

2010-08-29T12:20:00.000-07:00

Anyone who has small children will probably agree with me: some days you live for nap time. Nothing like having an hour or two to yourself, even if you spend it doing laundry, making dinner, or cleaning. It's just nice to have that time. Friday afternoon I was enjoying nap time by working in the garden. When I came close to the door to let Pele in I could hear Katie running and laughing.

My first thought was - NO! You've got to be kidding me. Well she wasn't. Katie has mastered the art of getting out of her crib, opening her door, and coming down the stairs, stopping in every room to find something, and even checking on the girls for me (which translates to waking them up). Then Sydney learned how to stand up the next day. Our once child-proof and child-containable home has become something else. At least Sydney can't get out of her crib now that I lowered it down. But she and Cora may find a way to boost each other out. I guess we'll have to wait and see....

1,2,3 and Counting....

2010-08-08T12:21:00.000-07:00

Hello, and we're not drowning. This is Jeremy out in the pond we went swimming in last week. Yeah for post-call days.
Jeremy playing for the beloved Gas Attack Anesthesia softball team. Can't say they won many games, but this 4 month long season has been fun for him.

I take it back, maybe we are drowning. Just kidding. He's so awesome with all the girls and they really love their dad.

I was doing a little math in my head as we hit so many mile stones this summer. We currently have one dog, who we love dearly. She's been the best dog we could have asked for as she is so gentle with the girls and doesn't mind cleaning up after them either.

We've owned our first house together for a year now. This picture was taken shortly after we moved in last year.

Those were the ones, here comes the twos.

Katie hit two years old this last Friday. This is her birthday cake. My first try at decorating one and it took forever. Honestly, it didn't even taste that good. But I guess I was never a cake fan to begin with and she sure enjoyed making it.

This is the morning Katie was born in Spokane, WA.

This is Katie the week of her first birthday last year.

And here's her dramatically posed on her second birthday. I can't believe how much she can say and do now. She currently switches from terrible toddler to loving angel within seconds. She loves to yell "no" and say "I listen to mommy. Obey. I love mommy." I'll bet you do. She also says "I being patient" when I make her wait for a drink. My favorite sayings are still "elfalent" (for elephant) and "fodder mountain" (for water fountain). She wants to do everything "all be the self" and then tells me "good choice" after she picks something. She has such a beautiful laugh and is so aware of everything. She steals your heart and gives the best loves. She loves "rockabye" when it's time for bed, loves to sing at the top of her lungs some songs that we know and others that she just makes up. We pick tomatoes together, water the plants, and do crazy dances. I can't believe how much our lives have changed because of her. There are definitely some days I would love to strangle her, but I would never give up everything I'm gaining from her. She truly enriches our lives, our souls, and melts my heart. And if she's survived the first two years of her life (and so have we), then there's hope that we'll make it that far with the twins. (Let's not get started about ages 12 and 13 though.)

Another two. These two continue to grow, love to eat, and Cora just cut two teeth yesterday.

How cute is tubby-time? Well, not always so cute. After I'd drained the water and pulled out Sydney to dry her, Cora tried to reach the plug and fell on the drain instead, cutting her little nose. It will be a miracle if these two make it to year two.

Three. That's how many children we have. Three amazing girls, that look like clones of each other, that act at times so much like their mom or dad and other times are so much their own selves.

And the other three. Three years for us. We were married July 17th, 2007. I think we can't believe it's already been three years, yet also feel like it should be at least five for having lived in three different states, worked in three different hospitals, and have three children. Trust me, we're not aiming for four of anything other than years together next year. I'm still amazed though when I look at my wonderful husband. We both had our trials before we found each other and it was such a miracle we did. I've learned so much from him and feel so blessed to have a life and family together. He is an amazing father, a very patient and loving husband, and so fun to be with. We had no idea we'd be where we are now, and honestly have no idea where we'll be three years from now. But we know we'll be together.

Here we are going for a dip in the Norwich Pool, which is really a pond in the woods. We definitely need dates now and again, and this was a winner!

Washington, D.C.

2010-07-25T08:25:00.000-07:00

With the help of my dad while he was here, we planned and executed a trip to DC to see my sister. She was supposed to have her little baby girl when we got there, but she's still waiting. My mom flew out to help with the new one and we were just a big Sorensen family gathering. We hauled Melissa (my sister) out to the zoo in 95 degree weather along with all three of my girls and Mel's little boy, Van, hoping to induce labor. Three hours of walking in the heat and pushing strollers up a hill and we got nothing. If the zoo hadn't have been free we would have asked for our money back.

So all of the animals were doing exactly what the rest of us should have been doing - taking a siesta in the shade. At least we could see the lions.

This vulture was the only animal Katie got to really see in action.

There's Katie checking out the meerkats. She had fun running around and talking about the animals.

Here's Katie and Van trying to share the car. Katie kept yelling at Van to get out, "it's Katie's turn Van." I wish I would have got more pictures while we were there. Katie and Van did a good job of playing together (as good as almost 2 year olds can), we played in the plastic pool in their yard, played at the park, went for a walk, I was just excited to spend time with some of my family. Jeremy couldn't come because he can't take vacation in July. I wish we could have had Ann, her kids, and Jeremy (my brother) there as well. But you take what you can get. It's hard seeing family only a few times a year, but the good part about living apart is when you do see each other you're staying in the same house (provides for plenty of conversation) and set the whole time aside to do stuff together.

Doing anything with these girls has a similar theme. Packing and getting ready to go anywhere - from the grocery store to the trip to DC (10 hours, by the way) - is enough to make me want to cry and question why am I even going anywhere. But I'm always glad I went after we get there. Thank goodness I had someone to make the drive with. We crossed through 10 states each way: New Hampshire, Vermont, Massachusetts, Connecticut, New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Delaware, Maryland, and Virginia. The way there went a lot smoother than the way home. The girls were probably just a little tired of so much craziness for them, but we had one of Kate's diapers explode from too much pee, and both of the girls had poop plastered up their backs at our first stop at 8:30 in the morning just past Philadelphia. And they all grew more tired of the drive as we went on. It's one of those times when you're grateful for the bigger city traffic because as long as there's not congestion to slow you down, everyone's going at least 20 miles over the speed limit and you can pretend you're a race-car driver as you're just praying they all decide to take a nap now.

Row, Row, Row Your Boat

2010-07-25T08:16:00.000-07:00

OK, technically it's paddle since we were in a canoe. I was so excited to go and play in a canoe! I found someone to watch Sydney and Cora for a couple of hours so my dad and I could take Katie out on the Connecticut River. I must admit I would love to really get the paddle in the water and wander, but for now we will settle for me keeping Katie Lou from tipping into the river as she tries to touch the water or reach the lily pads. She loved the lily pads so we'd keep picking them and eventually found this amazing flower for her. It was two hours well spent.

We're still working on keeping her eyes open for pictures.

Getting Bigger

2010-07-25T08:04:00.000-07:00

Let the feedings begin! These girls can't get enough of eating, though they're still not quite able to sit up and are a bit too small for the seats. So we pad them with towels and hope it helps. Of course, they still vomit, so now they vomit in color. Yeah. Let me tell you what - dinner is insane. I don't know how day care people do this with so many little ones. But it is fun to watch them eat everything and get so excited. I am surprised that neither of them are big on fruit. They love the sweet potatoes and carrots, but have been pulling all kinds of funny faces with the fruit. Go figure.
Cora and Sydney have been better about just chatting to each other until it's time to get out of the crib.

Grandpa came to visit! My dad had a conference in Maine and came over to play with us for a few days. All three of the girls just ate him up.

Here's all of our girls lounging in the kitchen.

Silly Me...

2010-07-08T18:36:00.000-07:00

Just in case anyone was wondering, should you be filling up your sink to thaw out some meat, make sure you actually turn the water off before you leave the kitchen.

I'm Feeling So..

2010-07-05T13:42:00.000-07:00

I can't believe how many things I seem to be feeling, so I'm going to write it all down. I feel so overwhelmed when it's the fourth night in a row of really late bed times for the little people and I've got to do it with Jeremy gone again. I feel so blessed my husband has a good job. I feel so baffled as I work on my primary calling at how much goes into organizing, teaching, and keeping every primary running in every ward in the world. There's nothing to finish as much as it is to just keep working. I'm so grateful for how many people so willingly give of their time and hearts to teach so many children about the gospel of Jesus Christ, especially knowing my kids will be there someday, shouting out the most random answers and wondering when they'll get picked to give a talk. I love singing to Sydney and Cora with the guitar when Katie's down (they can't grab the guitar yet like she can). They just smile and dance and get so excited when I sing to them.

I can't believe how much fun Katie is. Jeremy had today off for the 4th of July so we went with some other resident families to Mascoma Lake. It takes us about an hour to have everything we may need packed, and even then one of us ends up trying to keep the twins from crying, but we're always glad we went. Jeremy got the crying job today and I took Katie out in the water. She was pretty nervous at first, but together we worked on her kicking her legs like a fish and splashing in the water and walking in the water and not being afraid of it. She loved it! She loves her mom and dad and loves to laugh, be tickled, and sing the most random songs. Yesterday in church she kept opening the hymn book to sing at the top of her lungs. We're not so sure what she was actually singing, but it was beautiful to her parents. She is so smart, loves to be read to, and loves knowing how the story goes so she can say part of it, too. She does get into everything, especially when I am nursing or pumping. Last week she actually locked herself in our downstairs bathroom. Thank goodness the window was cracked. I went outside, removed the screen, opened the window all the way, climbed in and saved the day. Great, I can add breaking and entering to my mommy resume.

I think June was our first month of having no one stay with us to help since we moved her. We moved here a year ago. I love our house, neighborhood, the weather, and the people here. I would really love our girls to grow up here. But I'm sad, too. I miss being able to see my family. I would love to go on regular walks with my mom and plan outings with my sisters. I wish I could be there for my parents now when things are hard. I feel sad that I can't just give my parents a hug, or have Katie spend time with her great grandparents. I can't believe we survived a month on our own. It's not been without great effort. Sometimes the thought of getting everyone out the door on my own again is enough to make me want to cry and hide under the covers, but I don't. Well, crawl under the covers anyway. We've made it work. We get so much help, especially from the ward and I can't thank them enough.

I want to spend more time slowing down. I really want to become better at pondering and reading my scriptures again. I was under some delusion when I was single that that would be easy when I would stay home with kids. Jeremy told me today I have chosen the harder course. I know this is where I need to be, but this is not easy. I don't know how to make the time to slow down, but I will learn.

So I'm feeling some of everything: happy, sad, grateful, content, overwhelmed, and excited. It is good to be alive. Life would be so boring if we couldn't experience all of this.

We Love You

2010-07-04T12:52:00.001-07:00

I have pictures somewhere of my Grandma Adams holding Katie, but I can't find them. I really wanted to put it up, but since I can't find it all I can say is we love you Grandma Adams and thank you for raising my dad to be such a good father. Thank you for letting my family live with you when we first moved to Utah and couldn't find a home when I was younger. Thank you for loving all of us and being faithful to the gospel of Jesus Christ. Thank you for your kindness. We will miss you and I'm sorry we weren't closer to let you see your great-grandbabies more.

The Best Helper EVER

2010-07-04T12:13:00.000-07:00

Katie is my little shadow. She wants to do everything with me. We have a little black stool that she moves around the kitchen to stand with me wherever I am - making toast, cooking, washing the dishes, using the microwave. She also loves to help with the girls. She buckles every buckle in this house - her high chair, the girls' swings, the car seats, anything she can and says "Katie did it. I did it!" She even decided to change Sydney's diaper for me. I had taken Cora in the other room and when I came back Katie had unbuttoned Sydney's onesie, taken off her diaper and was wiping her bum. Then she put the wipe in the diaper and took it to the trash. She's hired! I just need to teach her to put a new diaper on. Katie also loves to play in the water, so I let her help me water the garden.

She loves to spray herself in the face and say "I a wet cookie!"

This is her telling me "I a wet cookie."

You just can't find hired help like this. Isn't this why we have kids? Slave labor?

She figured out she wasn't tall enough to turn the swings on, so she moved her little stool over to make sure her dollies could swing like the babies do.

This is the face she pulls when you ask her to smile. She closes her eyes and shows her teeth.

Laughing at Pele. I had to get a couple of real smiles up.

She has no fear of anything and climbs on whatever she can. No severe accidents yet.

And jumping in her little pool. "I making waves!" is what she loves to say in her pool.

Six Months Tomorrow

2010-07-04T11:48:00.000-07:00

Six months tomorrow. My jaw wants to drop. Sometimes when we're out people stop me to say, "oh, you have twins," and somewhere in my brain I'm thinking - I do? Oh, yeah, these guys. It has surprised me that in many ways I am still recovering, but I guess part of that has to do with not sleeping for so long after the squirts were born. They have been a marvel to watch, even more so having two to compare. One does one thing, then the other, then they switch. They notice Katie a lot now and just smile at her and love her. They get so excited when any of us come close to them - a big gummy grin and they kick their little legs and squeal. We all love to kiss them and love them. They still puke, but not as bad as Katie. We love having them in our family and enjoy getting to know them more and more everyday.

Daddy with Sydney
Sydney loving her new play area.

Here we have Sydney and Cora. I just wanted to pull up a picture of Katie about the same age, doing about the same thing and ask if anyone can really see much of a difference between the three of them.

This was Katie in March of 2009. She doesn't have the dimple in her chin like the girls do, but other than that I think they all look the same. Good thing their names all sound a little different. I can't wait till I'm running down the whole list in a few years after they've decided to do something devious together. I hope I can tell them apart then.

We're working on getting them to sleep through the night so all three girls can be in the same room upstairs (Sydney and Cora's current residence has been the upstairs hallway or the downstairs guest room). They've gotten a lot better about sleeping through their nap time, except that right now I'm sitting outside of their room listening to them talk and play with each other. And bed time's been pretty good as well. I will have a hard time putting them in separate cribs, though. I don't know if I will until they can start hoisting each other out because they sure are cute together. Oh, well. Everything I said I wasn't going to do I've done and things I was planning on doing I never even started, so we'll see where this goes.

June Showers

2010-07-04T11:38:00.001-07:00

I couldn't wait for spring and summer this year because I can get out and play in the dirt! And everything seems to bloom here. These are the red tiger lilies my brother relocated when I made him dig up the garden during his visit last summer. They survived the transplant and I think they are gorgeous!
The first fruits of our labor from our garden. I can't believe how quick the squash and zucchini are growing.

These are the regular tiger lilies that are everywhere here. I tell you what, the crazy rain makes everything just grow and grow. Our veggie garden has exploded. We don't know if we'll get any cucumber, but it might be because everything else is taking over. It's so fun to go out and pick something and cook it up for dinner. I hope wherever we end up permanently has a growing climate as versatile and fertile as this one.

Fodder Mountain and the Ocean

2010-06-20T18:26:00.000-07:00

Katie can't get enough of playing outside. After a stretch of rainy days we were excited to get out and dig in the dirt. Well, I was weeding and Katie was relocating everything from rocks to dirt to her toy frog.
This is Katie's beloved "fodder mountain."

This is the little parade our family makes when we have an outing. We went to a hot air balloon festival for a few hours on Saturday. My favorite part was the live music, I think Katie's was the sasparilla, Jeremy's the sky-divers, and I don't think Sydney or Cora got much more out of it than a nice long ride in the stroller.

Jeremy had three days of unused vacation we had to use before July. We spent it picking strawberries and making jam, canoeing, and going to the beach! Each trip was quite the effort. Picking strawberries with a 14lb kid strapped to your chest is quite the work-out, not to mention stopping Katie from stepping on the plants. We got rained on in the canoe, but still had so much fun. The beach was beautiful. The water was pretty intimidating to Katie and the water was too cold to really get in, so we chased seagulls and played in the sand.

There's my handsome honey with Sydney. She looks a little like a pirate to me with her eye half covered.

Life in three-kid land is crazy. Cora and Sydney can both roll over (I think they play steam-roller in their crib sometimes), and they both try to sit up now. They grab anything close to them, including my hair and earrings or any cup or utensil you are trying to use while holding them. Katie is currently buckling every buckle in the house. She puts her dolls in the twins' car seats and swings and says, "oh, thank you Katie." She had a fever out of the blue this last Thursday night through Friday. She was so sweet the whole time she had her fever and so happy - it was the most bizarre thing. But if she's happy when she's got a fever, so am I.

Strange to think that a year ago this week is when we closed on this house. I can't believe how much life has changed from just a year ago. I just got off the river from Burn Camp and flew out with Katie to Boston, then caught the shuttle to here. Jeremy drove cross-country with our dog and his dad. Since then we've been here we've had two more kids, planted a garden, met some incredible people through work, the neighborhood, and church. Jeremy's finished his first year of being an anesthesia resident. We've been through moments of feeling on top of the world and moments like we're drowning. We never could have done any of this without such amazing parents, family, friends, and the mercy of a loving Heavenly Father who is so aware of our every need and gives us chances to learn and grow. I've learned (or relearned) that always being stubborn and independent can make you isolated and miserable and that there really is joy in letting others serve you as much as in serving others. It's been hard to realize how much help I've needed with our family from pregnancy with the twins to even now. But it's been such a blessing to see the love and compassion of so many people, even total strangers. Here's to another year in New Hampshire, and another year of knowing the greatest things in life are the people you love.

Five Months

2010-06-06T11:22:00.000-07:00

It's been five months. They have both started laughing, Cora can roll from her back to her tummy and back again, and they grab everything. Last weigh in they were 13 lbs (a month ago), and 24 inches if I remember correctly. Sydney squeals and babbles, Cora screams and growls. The doctor thinks they're identical. If we really wanted to know we could get a genetic test done, but we figure we can do that when they're older if we want to.
Covered in drool and vomit, but so happy.

Katie wanted to wear her hat just like her daddy.

Jeremy stopped mowing the lawn to show Katie the neighbor's pretty flowers. Katie likes to tell us that "bees make honey," "go to the park play with kids," and "I cooking something."

Summertime

2010-05-23T11:35:00.000-07:00

I realized just a few days ago that this is the first summer in a couple of years that I won't be pregnant and we're not moving. Kate was born in August 2008 and I got pregnant with the girls last May. Moving and being pregnant is a terrible combination for me. So is pregnant and summer. OK, just being pregnant is not good for me. What I'm trying to say is I'm so excited for summer! No more worrying about random collapses when we're out and about, no worrying about where's the closest place I can puke, no more worrying about getting 4 Liters of fluid in my body everyday (more if I went in the sun), no more shear terror of the heat and what it would do to me, I can actually lift things (like my kids), get my heart rate up, bend over and work in the garden, chase Katie when she runs, go swimming, be in the sun for longer than 20 minutes, and drink things like water and eat things like chicken (the simple things, people). I may have 3 babies to figure out how to take on hikes or go swimming with, but I can't be excited enough to feel so healthy in the summer instead of on my death bed.

Here are the chunky monkeys pulling faces.
We planted our garden this week! We've got tomatoes, peppers, squash, zucchini, cucumber, carrots, and raspberries. We had to plant our peas at a second spot to give them a place to climb. As long as we can keep Kate, Pele, and the wild creatures of the forest out we may actually get a good crop. I'm pretty happy about this. Thanks, Jen, for your help! (Our sis-in-law is out here for the week and we are loving having her here!)

The lovely pea plants.

Apparently they all had something much more interesting to look at than the camera.

Here's Katie being a big helper and rocking both of the girls in their swings.

Welcome to Toddlerhood

2010-05-16T18:20:00.000-07:00

Between the ICU schedule and a run down to Boston to watch his buddy play in a Red Sox game, I didn't see Jeremy much for 2 1/2 days earlier this week. Dear, sweet Katie has been fighting a mild cold, I think getting some teeth moving around, and has been the whiniest girl for about 2 weeks. I feel so bad for her and at the same time want to strangle her. Tantrum after tantrum about keeping her coat on, going outside, getting some milk, even just agreeing with her has sent her into tirades. And an all day onslaught of "Katie tired, Katie sad, no, no, no, rock-a-bye" and "run away" had me ready to run away. Jeremy came home from his call Wednesday afternoon to me rocking her with a thing of milk before her nap and asked me why I was rocking her. I told him it was either rock her or kill her. Truth be told, it's almost unfair how much in my head I expect her to be older than she is because there are two other babies in the house. I think we do well most of the time, but I can tell Katie and I wear each other out every now and then. She and I did have a lot of fun yesterday and she did well at Stake Conference today. I'll bet a lot of this is normal for a toddler and I just need to take in the good days to balance out the bad ones. She will out grow this, maybe just in time for the twins to start it.

Here she is in her Piglet hoodie again and my slippers.
Cora and Sydney puking on their blanket.

They're both grabbing things now. Cora is a thumb sucker and Sydney goes for her first two fingers. Cora loves to look at you and scream and squeak to talk. Sydney does as well, just not a much screeching as Cora.

Sydney and the Mama bear.

Puky Cora screaming at me. (It's a happy scream.)

These pretty things are growing in front of our porch. I love looking out the kitchen window and seeing red flowers.

Sydney and Cora again. Poor things have another doctor appointment Tuesday where they will be shot with more immunizations. I'm excited to see how much they've grown!

Lest I Forget..

2010-05-10T19:05:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to get some of the things Katie's saying down before I forget.

When I wake her up in the morning:

Me: "Good morning Katie."
Her: "Morning Katie."
Me: "How did you sleep?"
Her: "Good."
Me: "How were your dreams?"
Her: "Dream about."
Me: "What did you dream about?"
Her: "Jesus."

That was with no prompting from me or Jeremy. She just tells us that. Then tonight while I was feeding the girls she got hold of a set of scriptures, opens it up and says:

"Came to pass. Amalickiah. Bad guy. Lehi. Came to pass. Jesus. Armies. Came to pass."

My other favorite sayings:

"Snotty nose. I need a tissue."

"Help. I need help."

"I need a time out." (Maybe mommy does, really.)

"Back on tubby time." (She means put the girls back on tummy time after they roll over.)

"Keep Cora company."

"Chase Katie."

"Turn on fodder mountain." (She means the water fountain in our back yard.)

"Take a chance on me." (From the Mama Mia soundtrack.)

"Katie Lou, I need you." (From the Scooby-Do song.)

"Down the drain you go bubbles."

There's a lot more, but I need to go to bed instead of staying up to unwind.

Outside and Lake Pinneo

2010-05-09T12:49:00.000-07:00

If any one's bored with the constant pictures of the girls, I'm sorry. Someday I'll get other pictures in as well. I just know I have family missing these little stinkers a lot since we're on opposite ends of the country, so I need to keep the pictures of the kids coming. Plus, I think they're cute.

Another day playing in the garden and I actually got her hair done!

This was hilarious. She was checking for ants because that's what the pest control guy had done the day before. She started following one with her finger and I think it bit her because she started to whimper. I asked her if she got bit and she said, "sorry, ant," and tried to follow it around the deck to make sure it heard her say sorry.

We were all on the deck, I just had them in the shade and love this because they seem to be holding hands. Cora's the one with the nail polish. We still need it to tell who's who.

Some of the girls from church wanted to do something free and outside, so we drove with them to Lake Pinneo, a private lake from Memorial Day to Labor that is perfect for kids. It's man-made with a really nice beach, grass, and a playground all right next to each other. This is Katie in our car with the girls. She tells me "keep em company" whenever she sits by them.

Katie checking out the water.

She now says "shoes muddy" when you ask her about the lake. She walked right in and had a ball until she tripped.

And this is the tent we had set up so the girls could nap and we could stay longer than an hour. Those other moms that came were awesome and we had fun. It was so nice to get out to do something besides grocery shop! The weather was a little cool because it was so windy, but there is something magical about being outside.

Mothers

2010-05-09T12:26:00.000-07:00

Sacrament meeting was for me today. I love these little girls that we have, and feel very blessed to have them as part of our family. But some days the thought of getting out of bed to take care of all three of them all day long is overwhelming. There are multiple moments when everyone needs everything, they can't understand why I'm not meeting those needs this second, and I'm lucky if I get to eat and drink in the process. What makes it harder is not having had a full night's sleep for so many months (I wasn't sleeping through the night before they were born either). Suffice it to say we're on a roller coaster of highs and lows - some days we can conquer anything, and others I want to give up.

Today being Mothers' Day, the topic in Sacrament Meeting was about mothers, sacrifice, and the Savior. The last talk was about Mark 8:35 - "He that findeth his life shall lose it, and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.." The middle talk was about how the Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ give everything to bring to pass "the immortality and eternal life of man," how not easy that is and the true meaning of sacrifice. And the first talk someone drew parallels between the Savior's life and that of a mother's. It was humbling to hear all of this as I have struggled with how often I feel like I've lost my mind, lost myself, and wondered if anyone else knows how hard this mothering job can be. Of course it's going to be hard - would I expect anything less from a job so important? Then I think of my own parents and my Grandparents and how much they always have and still do sacrifice for all of their kids. From time to cars, food, money, space, energy, vacations, and life in general, my parents, particularly my mother, have never failed to watch over all of us and strive to make us happy and teach us the right. I'm in awe as I think of my mom and her constant love and support, as I think of my older sister and her never-ending patience, my younger sister with her joyful optimism, my Grandma with her beautiful laugh, and the strength and support of so many other mothers around me that take my girls so I can shower, sleep, or just cry to them.

I think the world around us is so patronizing to mothers. It gives us a lot of lip service and mocks and belittles us at the same time. This is the toughest job you'll ever love, it is not for the faint of heart, and I am so grateful for the Gospel of Christ in my life that helps me keep it in perspective when I feel overwhelmed and the angels Heavenly Father continually sends to watch over me. This calls for more endurance and courage than I ever thought I had - including school and working two jobs. I hope I grow up to be as awesome as my mom.

Small Town

2010-05-08T03:44:00.000-07:00

We live in a town with a population of about 13,000 people. There are several other towns around us with similar numbers. I spent my teenage years in a town nearly twice as big and thought it was too small and definately not cool. My, how things change. I love living here. I love that we know our postman has a nine year old boy who plays hockey. I love that someone stopped me on the street on their way home from school yesterday to say Pele looked just like their dog. I love that I run into the same people out walking and they ask how we're doing with all of our kids. I love that "rush hour" here means it might take you 4 minutes longer than otherwise. I love the neighbors we have who come over to walk our dog for us or play with Katie. I feel safe not having things locked all the time. I love that all of the houses here look traditional, modest even when they're big, and so unique. I see gardens everywhere when we're out driving or walking. I love that the grocery store is two miles away at most. People are generally friendly and have the time to talk to you. The post office is not even half a mile away and neither is the library. As weird as this may sound, I even love that we live right next to a cemetery because it's so peaceful to walk through it.

Then there's just living in New England in general. The trees are so amazing - they're everywhere! The mountains here aren't like the Rockies by any means, but I love that I see them all around us and they're covered in trees. We have rivers and streams everywhere and everything seems to bloom in flowers in the spring. It is just a gorgeous place to be.

I will admit there are drawbacks. The nearest Costco is over an hour and a half away. Property taxes are insane. As close as the grocery store may be, it's pricey compared to larger cities and the variety is significantly less. Any shopping besides food and it's wise to travel to one of the bigger cities. That wouldn't be such a big deal if I wasn't hauling 3 little people with me. And the nearest airport is an hour and a half away.

These things keep running through my mind as Jeremy and I occasionally discuss where we want to end up. I wish we could transplant this little piece of home anywhere we went because I will be so sad when it's time to go. I don't think you can find many places like this. But as my mom always said when I was growing up (and still tells me), you can be happy anywhere you choose to be. There's good and bad in all places and you can choose what you're going to see. My mom rocks. I'm just glad it's so easy to see the good here.

Katie's New Shirt

2010-05-02T12:47:00.000-07:00

When we were in Spokane I found this Piglet hoody at the Salvation Army. It was too big for Kate at the time so it's just been sitting in a bin. I pulled it out this week and was so excited it fit (oh, the simple joys of life). My mom wanted pictures, so here you go, Mom.

When you ask her to smile, this is what you get: eyes closed and teeth showing.
How could you not love this shirt? I wish I had one.

For My Grandma Frandsen

2010-05-02T12:37:00.001-07:00

Grandma, I thought you might enjoy some pictures of their tubby time. The first two pictures are of Cora, then the next two are of Sydney.

I hope you know I keep trying to get a picture of their huge gummy smiles, but I think the light of the camera mesmerizes them because they instantly pull this bug-eyed look when I pull out the camera.

For the Sake of the Family Budget

2010-05-02T12:32:00.001-07:00

Taking Pele to a groomers for a bath: $50

Bathing her ourselves: Free (maybe 20 cents for the water and shampoo use)

Spending an hour tackling her into the tub, drying her with towels and then the blow dryer with Katie's assistance: Priceless.

She stayed clean for a few days.

Rock On

2010-04-22T13:47:00.001-07:00

I love that she almost looks like she's playing the air guitar.

Nothing Like Company That's Not Really Coming....

2010-04-22T12:34:00.000-07:00

So Tuesday night Jeremy and I found out we would be hosting a new resident family that's house hunting for a week. They were coming Wednesday. We were excited to have them stay with us because of the generosity of other families helping us to get here. But I was a little stressed about it. OK, I was bawling my eyes out Wednesday morning. The girls had puked all over me (nothing like a sour-milk smell to make a first impression), and Katie wouldn't let me finish cleaning anything so I just started sobbing. Then Katie comes up to me and says, "Mommy sad. Mommy tears. Mommy crying." She's observant, I'll give her that. Well, I didn't give up. I worked my tail off and had the bathroom clean, the floors swept, mopped, and vacuumed, and even had a huge dinner made just in time to find out there was a huge mix up and they weren't really staying with us. Jeremy and I had to just laugh about it. Nothing like total strangers coming to get you to clean your house. At least we can enjoy that and plenty of left-overs.

Katie loves to play in the little fountain we have in the middle of our garden - which means she ends up getting a little dirty. I couldn't help taking this picture - she's so beautiful! She picked our first flower for us, that's the tulip in her hand.
This is Cora getting on Pele's level. Or Pele on Cora's. I can't believe how strong her little neck is! Although tummy time usually creates excess vomit. That's the real reason Pele's so calmly waiting.

Kate's hair cracks me up here. We'd had her hair up in a pony-tail the day before, and the day we took this picture she looked like I'd had her hair in rollers. Two hair-do days for the effort of one. I like it.

And just a quick message from Cora and Sydney. To love and believe are two of the greatest joys in this life. I am constantly relearning not to get too caught up in day-to-day life to forget that.

The Ants Go Marching.....

2010-04-18T15:05:00.000-07:00

It started with seeing these poking around the kitchen:

Then we caught one of these:

Then as Jeremy was playing with Kate he discovered one of these latched onto her head hiding in her hair:

Don't get me wrong, bugs have their place in the world. I don't think it's wise to be afraid of things not even 1/1000 of your size, but these creatures have been coming into our house in full since the warm weather and there's only so much ant-smashing I'm willing to do in the kitchen. We are declaring war on the creepy crawlies in the house - I called the pest control and they'll be here tomorrow morning. Not a bad deal either - they guarantee against mice, rats, wasps, bees, spiders, millipedes (threatening, I know), ants, basically anything but termites. That's extra. Good thing we have a stone foundation. So I hope all the little things pack their bags if they want to keep living, otherwise they will be making a trip to bug heaven soon.

Dog Tired

2010-04-12T18:36:00.000-07:00

The tiredness seems to set in most when I hold still long enough to realize how tired I am. Or on those other days where I feel like I'm still dreaming when I'm really awake because we were up so much at night. Though at three months, I think we're getting longer stretches of sleep now than before. As tired as I may be, this is still WAY better than pregnancy.
You see those green plants poking up there? Those are our tiger lilies. And we have raspberries growing after all of our planting efforts last year. I'm so excited for our garden! Katie and I have been having a lot of fun outside. I'll admit it though, I was really struggling with burn-out before General Conference two weekends ago. I couldn't have been more grateful for those messages that seemed to hit right on the nail everything I was struggling with. I really loved Sister Beck's and Elder Ballard's talk that both seemed to reaffirm the importance of being a mom, the value of women in the world, and the necessity of seeking the guidance of the Lord for every day things. So I prayed for help with our family. I needed so much more patience and strength to enjoy these kids and not just survive them because I was so tired.

Well, the answers and strength came. I'm not claiming to have amazing patience, but I feel a difference. I play more with Katie now and am better about letting things go that I can't do and loving and laughing more. I really needed to hear all of the messages about families; that being a mother is the only calling in this life you are never released from - it's an eternal calling, that the greatest good you can ever do in the world is the work you do with your own family, how precious every individual soul is to our Heavenly Father, and just that peaceful feeling of hearing the prophet and apostles of the Lord speak. And I'm so grateful that modern technology lets me see Conference at home, even in New Hampshire, so I don't have to worry about what to do with the three munchkins during the sessions.
These dresses were gifts from a very dear friend. Anyone able to tell the difference in the two girls? Cora's on the left and Sydney's on the right. They smile so much now (though I never seem to get a picture of both at once) and coo a lot. Katie imitates everything I do with them with her dolls. She wants me to swaddle her dolls for her the way I do them. We call it "tie them up," which she asks me to do if they start crying. She rocks her dolls and says shh to them. She puts them in the car seat, the swings, and her double stroller to "go to the park." She will even lift up her shirt to "feed them." She puts them up on the changing table to "change their bums" when I change the girls. She will "burp them" and give them "tummy time" and also help me show them different toys. She says all of the things I put in quotations. It's a little intimidating to see her act out everything I do. And even more bizarre for me because I didn't play with dolls a whole lot growing up (I liked my stuffed animals and toy horses). So she and I are learning things together.

And yes, they still puke.

Egg Hunting

2010-04-05T19:07:00.000-07:00

We had a lovely Easter, and Katie was happy to look for Easter Eggs. This was the point she decided her basket was too full and she dumped it all out.

I bought (I mean the Easter Bunny brought) a puppy with bunny ears for each of the girls. Kate picked them out at the store and couldn't stop kissing the puppies and I suckered into it. It gets easier to say no when they get bigger, right? Oh, well. I figure at $3 a piece, this was an OK splurge.