Lost

I thought this might be a good post to end the year on. I lost the girls yesterday. If anyone reading has ever toyed with the thought of me being not the greatest mom, let me just confirm it for you. Although, I will counter that with my children are pretty stinking happy about life when they aren't whining.

We have a place here called the Montshire museum. It's a children's science museum and a lot of fun for kids, especially when it's so cold outside. Yesterday I took the girls to said museum. Usually when we go, the crowds are relatively small. But since it's Christmas break there were a lot more people there. I did OK on the first floor keeping track of them, but once we got to the second floor, I lost Cora. I looked around and could not find her anywhere, while I was still trying to get Katie and Sydney to stay with me. A woman who had seen me downstairs asked if I was "looking for the one in the pink shirt?" I said yes and she had just seen her head down a staircase around the corner. I found her, got them back together for a few minutes, then Katie wanted to look at some birds' nests. In the minute and thirty seconds we did that I lost Sydney. I nearly ran around the entire second floor with no luck. Katie had since sat down at a work bench where they were starting a group activity. Suddenly I hear over the loud speaker, "We have a little girl in a purple shirt and pink pants looking for her mom at the front desk." So I tell Kate to stay at the bench, grab Cora, and head down another set of stairs to retrieve Sydney. She didn't even notice she was lost, and was not too pleased with me bringing her back up the stairs. Within those two minutes Katie had left the bench and was running around looking for me. So I decided that was it, tied them all to the stroller, and home we went.

Let me tell you why I love my kids. I love that they are so confident. They are almost fearless about anything (except for the twins when I first deliberately leave them with someone else). All three of them absolutely love to learn about EVERYTHING hands on. This means they need to climb, touch, taste, smell, take apart, bang, and question anything. Katie asks why about the smallest to the most serious things. My children are relentless when it comes to getting answers and are determined to find their way through things, or around, or over, or under them. Music, nature, stories, the body, playing - everything is so exciting for them and they love to laugh, be happy, and be a part of everything.

Now let me tell you why I cry so much. All of the above good qualities make for some very intense days. There is NOTHING in this house that is not a magical thing to discover for them - including the oven, their dad's desk, the pantry, the sink, toilet, dressers, couches, salt for the sidewalk, mud puddles, tools, bum cream, wipes, you get the idea. So while I'm trying to help one understand why it's not OK to pull things out of the fridge I have another one getting things out of Jeremy's desk and the other one is trying to smear bum cream all over herself and the house. Not one of them prefers to listen to their mother over discovering whatever it is they see, regardless of ensuing consequences. I can be as consistent, respectful, and patient as possible, and that does not stop them from running three different directions, fearlessly into woods, fields, puddles, crowds, stairs, or parking lots on a repeated basis. I am so grateful they are who they are and can do all they do, but sometimes I'd love a little shock collar, or be able to wave a wand like in the Harry Potter books to block them from going somewhere. Or I'd put a spell on them that if they got too far away from me (such as at the museum), they'd start flashing and a siren noise would emanate from them until they came back to me. I suppose this is to teach me organization and how to grow eyes in the back of my head.