Sunday, January 3, 2010

Just Thinking

Jeremy and I were talking last night. What counts as labor? More or less contractions and cervical changes, right? So I've been in labor for a month and a half. Once again to quote my husband, "Can you do nothing normal?" I will say I'm not "suffering," just waiting. But hey, if they'll eat better, the wait is worth it.

Want to go really off subject? Jeremy just finished a palliative care rotation. For anyone who doesn't know what that means, it's basically hospice care - making people comfortable as their life comes to an end. The head physician gave Jeremy a book to read (that he wrote) that I ended up reading called Dying Well. I'm not trying to be morbid or depressing by talking about death, but Jeremy and I had many an interesting conversation about the whole ordeal.

One thing the book points out is that our culture has a terrible fear of death. We were all born, and at one point we will all die, and though birth is so celebrated death is something we just do not talk about. I don't want to go into too much detail here other than it really changed my perspective on dying. It's an opportunity to really honor those who go through the process by taking care of them and letting those loved ones know how blessed we feel for having them be part of our lives. The author talked about how natural grief and sorrow are and we should embrace them as part of the circle of life, not as though something has gone terribly wrong. It's OK to let ourselves and others grieve and acknowledge what we have lost. When the time is right (which is different for everyone), we will be able to feel joy again, and for some it is even during the time of death. I don't feel I'm an expert on any of this, I was just very grateful for a hopeful, loving, compassionate perspective on dying. Everyone can die with dignity and in peace, but it takes effort from those around them. If anything, I think Jeremy and I gained the perspective that it's OK to talk about what we want when the time comes, so that when it does come we will have already discussed some of the more difficult things during a calmer moment. Just things to think about.


Melanie said...

Very perceptive. I like it.

By the way, I am a little disappointed. I was hoping you would have your babies in 2 different years. Just kidding.

I hope they stay in there for as long as possible. The longer the better for them. :) We're still praying for you.

jon smith said...

I like this post. Death is something that I never really think about but it's an interesting thought.

CONGRATULATIONS on the babies! Can't wait to see my 2 new nieces.