Photos for the Grandparents

This was looking out our kitchen window a few week ago. I'm SO glad that it's getting warmer!

Look, a diaper party. Don't ask me which one's which.

This was from some time last week. It was nice enough we decided to play with the remnants of last year's side-walk chalk. It's one of the few pictures of her smiling face.

This was today. We reached 56 the last time I looked at the thermometer. So out we went and I thought a wagon ride would get us a little farther than our shared driveway.

However, as cute as they were, this is what I got every time I tried to get them to look at me for a picture.

Nothing says spring fun like a puddle and a stick. Yes, those are pink boots.

She had to keep dancing with her stick in the air, then tell me she was "running amok."

Cora's action shot.

Sydney's having her fun time in the puddle.

And this is Sydney pointing out the helicopter.

Another action shot of the lovely ladies. Everyone was in tears when we had to come in. But I tell you what, there is something amazing about being able to move around outside for the fun of it, not just to keep warm.

The Gillywatt and Domesticity

No, a gillywatt's not from Harry Potter. It's an Arctic bird Jeremy and I learned about this last week. In the short summer of the Arctic it nests high on a cliff. When the eggs hatch Mama gillywatt dives 250 ft below the ocean surface and holds her breath for about 20 minutes to get the fish that her little babies need. Jeremy turned to me and said, "And you think it's tough to feed our girls." OK, so at least I don't have to work THAT hard, but they're also done caring for their young in about six months. (I make no claim of spelling the name right or the details right, I have a fuzzy memory.)

Though feeding time may be intense around here, I have branched out a little more with my food skills. In the last two weeks I added poppy seed dressing and naan (an Indian flat bread) to my list of homemade goodies. Though this made me feel relatively impressed with myself, the Lord has a good sense of humor.

I decided I need to make comforters for each of my three girls. I can sew Christmas stockings, so how hard could this be? Ha, ha, ha. I enlisted the help of a friend who is a good seamstress and she took me to look for material. I forgot that things like that include skills such as matching colors. This is not a strength of mine. I half froze in the fabric store, overwhelmed by how many choices and trying to figure out how to put colors together. So I have somewhat commenced on this VERY intimidating project to me. I'm hoping to be done by Christmas.

Let's just say that mastering the domestic skills is a baby step process for me. Sometimes I pity my girls for my lack of textile skills, but then I remember I can teach them how to build fires, cook some yummy food over a fire, use a compass, and tie some fine knots. I wonder what fun things they will teach me.....

Thankful

I'm thankful for so many things. I don't always remember the many ways I've been blessed, so I wanted to get a few of them written down.

1. The stars. Especially the stars in the winter. They are so crisp and clear. I love I can see Orion, Sirius, and the Seven Sisters at this time of year and that I live in a place where I can see those stars just standing on our porch.

2. My husband. We had our first three day weekend in what seems like eons and we had so much fun. We had a church dance Saturday night (which the girls half loved and were half unsure of what to do with so many people and so much noise), made it through church with humor (always a plus), then just enjoyed a very simple day together Monday. He's so much fun to be with, so goofy and kind, and works his guts out. I love him.

3. My parents. I can't be thankful enough to have to wonderful people to call my mom and dad. I learn a lot from them, have needed their support and listening ears so often, and hope I can grow up to be as loving as they are. They are such good examples for me.

4. My in-laws. The most loving, giving people. I miss being around them and especially playing with the nieces and nephews. I feel very blessed to be a part of the family.

5. My sisters and brother. They each are a special part of my life. I gain so much from their love and friendship and we have a lot of fun when we're together.

6. Our girls. Who would have thought we'd have such an instant family? It's insane. I've never done anything so relentless in my life (mission, Badger Creek, and nursing school included). Yet I love them. So much. I love when Sydney slams her head into my collar bone because she thinks it's affectionate. I love when Cora smiles, runs away from me, and laughs about it when I call her. I love when Katie will look at me in the middle of her dinner and say, "Mommy, we're all children of God." I love that they all want to sit on my lap and read stories (not that the twins have any clue what they're doing, they just know they get to sit on my lap). I love that they can't be apart from each other. I love that Katie climbs in their cribs in the morning to sing them songs and tell them stories (and push them down).

7. Hot apple cider late at night. Mmmmmm.

8. Such a gentle dog.

9. A fuzzy jacket a friend gave me for Christmas years ago.

10. A working car with 4 wheel drive.

11. A neighbor with a snow blower.

12. Scriptures.

13. The ability to read.

14. Good music.

15. A washer and dryer.

16. Shoes that are 7 years old, still fit, and still look the same (I'm not one for finding new things).

17. Pick your own fruit and veggies. It's still months away - but I can't wait for our garden to grow and berry picking season!

18. The body's ability to heal.

19. A God that hears and answers prayers and knows me personally.

20. The people who have touched and continue to touch my life.


That's probably enough for now. Actually, I could keep going, but I need to get myself to bed.

Old Man Winter Came By

This is our front porch. One thing I've learned about New England is NO ONE uses their front porch. Winter's just the time you can actually see that. We all have back or side doors that get used for everything instead. As for the snow, we're supposed to get more this weekend.
That wall of snow you see is actually the fence to our back yard. We have no where to put the lovely snow other than in giant piles along side our shared driveway. Because the pile on the fence actually dumps into the other side of the fence, it made for a nice ramp for Pele to jump over what you see above.

This is her running across the street as I just watch her take off. I spent a good chunk of this afternoon digging a trench between the fence and the rest of the yard. Now there's just a giant snow mountain that she sits on in the middle of the yard.

My mom's asked for pictures for a while now, so I finally took a few of the girls with our older camera and found some other pictures still on it. This will be a long picture post. Up above is Cora clapping and Syd just gazing lovingly at her mother.

They kept tackling each other on the bed and squealing and giggling.

Cora doing yoga.

Syd showing off her baby blues.

This is what they looked like in August or September (I'm not sure when I took this). They'd just figured out how to stand with support.

Now here they are walking everywhere. Cora really likes turning and running from you when you call her. Good thing I don't have two other kids to chase as well. Wait....

I think this was in September. My little snow bunnies. Whoever designed those was a genius.

This was in September when I took the girls apple picking in Vermont. That's the petting zoo behind Kate. She loved picking the apples and eating them.

Cora had konked out and since I had Sydney on my chest I figured the apples could double with Cora.

Katie loves sticks. She has to carry a stick with her whenever she can. Don't think you can switch sticks on her either - she knows!

I had to put this picture in because it was so funny. This is the top of our stairs. Down the hallway (the direction of their feet) is the bathroom. We'd just finished bathing everybody and they had been so upset. Just crying and wailing the whole time. Jeremy and I took Kate to her room to say good night, planning on getting them and taking them downstairs just after. They followed us out into the hallway crying, but both fell asleep on their faces on Pele's bed. So cute. This was sometime in September.

And last but not least, our current state. Sydney (in the middle) cannot eat without combing the food through her hair. Meal times are just flat out messy. But I'm glad we have food we can eat and also glad that our dog doesn't mind helping with clean-up.

I Showed Up

As fun as yesterday was, today was a lot of work. Jeremy was on call, which meant I was on my own at church. Between it being in the middle of their naps now (from 1-4pm), it was 5 degrees outside, and I knew I'd be wrestling all three kids during the Sacrament Meeting, I was tempted to stay home. But I didn't. I can remember a teacher somewhere saying at least half of what we do to be faithful in the gospel is to just show up. Well, we showed up.

A friend who has mercifully come to our house usually twice a month to just talk with me or help with the girls came and sat with us only 5 minutes in. She helped with Katie while I tried to get the girls to realize they were OK to just SIT on my lap. My friend ended up taking Katie back to sit with her family and another friend sat by me to help with the girls. They didn't want anyone else to hold them but me. Not that they wanted to sit still by any means, they just had to be touching me or have me touching them. I was in much better humor this time around and laughed a lot. But the rest of the three hour block was still a bit ridiculous. Katie was brought to me twice so she could use the bathroom (I'm so proud of how well she's doing!) and both times I would leave two screaming babies in the arms of someone else while I took her to the bathroom. As I stood outside of Relief Society for the last part of church a friend talked to me about how it's hard to not just stay home when you have to do it alone.

I thought about that. There are so many women in our ward that regularly bring their kids to church alone. Whether it's an unsupportive spouse, health reasons, stake callings, or, as is the case with most of us, husbands working, we still come. Week after week I watch as we take turns helping each other or sympathetically - more like empathetically - staring in amazement and listening supportively as we all strive to remember why we do this, why we come. Then I also see those who come completely alone - no spouse or kids - and how much they need love and support and we all reach out to each other.

The truth is it would be easier to stay home than come to church every Sunday. It would be easier to not worry about what we listen to, watch, or wear. For me it would be easier to work and pay for a nanny than it is to stay home (fortunately, Jeremy's income and insurance are enough I don't have to). But I can't. I know what I believe. I know what's important to me. Easier doesn't mean happier. I choose the things I do because I have faith in a God who keeps his promises, who answers prayers, who can see the whole picture, who loves me eternally and wants me to have lasting happiness and peace. These little daily sacrifices are hard, but they are shaping me and helping me become a more compassionate, more patient, and better person. As hard as it is to have all three of them so dependent on me day in and day out, it's those moments that are shaping their lives, their faith and understanding, their picture of what love is and who they are. I cannot give that away, it will never come back. I go to church every Sunday because my girls need to know that when I make a commitment to our God I will stand by it and not change my mind because it's harder than it used to be. I see what those other awesome moms are also doing. They are modeling and teaching that there is more to them and their lives than their own personal comfort. They are willing to make those tiny sacrifices to show their faith and commitment. It's not to show anyone else than their God, their family, and themselves, but now that I strive to do it too, I see it.

I had no idea that my faith would be so tested as a mother. And there are so many other ways as well. But for today I am happy to say: I showed up.

Dream Big

Yesterday, with Jeremy home and all of us in a good mood, we decided to have a big family outing. Where would a family of 5 (three being under the age of three) with no money go in sub zero temperatures in a small town you ask? Well, besides our bi-weekly trip to the dump (anyone who has not been here needs to count their blessings if their trash is picked up by the city), we ventured out to the Home Depot!

Knowing we'll have to sell this most beloved house (I am not being sarcastic, I adore our century-old house) in a year or two, I'm betting on needing to replace the carpet before we get there. I've never shopped for carpet, cabinets, or anything, so we thought we'd just go to dream. We got our fill from the carpet guy, then wandered through wood floor samples (which make fabulous wood blocks for bored children), cabinet and counter displays, new ovens, washers and dryers, dishwashers, and refrigerators. I tell you what, I was blown away. I didn't know there was so much you could do to a home. Let alone the range of prices and varieties for each thing. We were probably only there for an hour before our little brood began to fidget and fuss, and we walked out of there with stars in our eyes of someday doing some big project on a future home.

Home we went and carried on with the rest of our Saturday. However, when it came time to start cleaning and I spent a bit too much time pulling things out of our carpet and almost hand feeding it to our decrepit vacuum cleaner, we both realized the first home-improvement project we should really be saving for is a working vacuum cleaner. We are dreamin' big.

What Do I Want to Remember About Today?

Sometimes, knowing the wide range of people who read this I don't get as personal as I'd like. I want this to be a better history of our family. Maybe we will end up going private as well. But I will start with what are the things I want to remember about this week of our family life?

We started out the week taking Pele to the vet. She started limping Friday night when we brought her in. I checker her out and couldn't find anything, and her appetite dramatically changed the next morning. So Monday she went in, it sounded like Lyme disease, but the lab work came back negative. I have some anti-inflammatories for her, but she's still limping a lot and we don't really know what to do for her. She doesn't seem to notice it, she still just wants to run in the snow. But, just as I felt with Sydney's stomach weirdness last fall and with her breathing issues two weeks ago, it's hard for me to seek the medical help when we end with more questions than answers. She goes back to the vet in two weeks and I hope we can figure something out by then.

We all are now recovered from one of the worst colds I've had in a long time. No matter which decongestant I tried it didn't change a thing. We all got better just in time for Sydney and Cora's birthday. They're a year old now. It's unbelievable. I was so focused on just making it to x amount of weeks, then to six months. Now they're at a year and sleeping through the night (most nights). They are both walking. They love playing with Jeremy, Katie, Pele, and I. They growl and roll their tongue. I am constantly so happy with all of them and so overwhelmed at how much is demanded of me every day. I don't know what I'll do when they're in bigger car seats. I currently take all three to the store by putting Katie in the seat in the cart, one of their carseats goes in the cart, and I have one strapped to my chest. When they're out of those seats I may be in trouble. All three girls will be in Nursery together this year. Those poor people. My children are loud! As for what we did for their birthday, I made jello and stuck a candle in it. I don't mean to be a party pooper, but I know they won't remember it right now, they got plenty of presents for Christmas and from family, so we were fine with no gifts.

We were so happy to have Jeremy home for the weekend! New month means new rotation and we're back to a better call schedule. Church was a little rough though. Better put, we almost killed our children. It was ward conference and our first family going to afternoon church (the girls and Jeremy stayed home sick last week). Well, because everyone was tired we were spinning in circles. Poopy diapers, trips to the bathroom, singing Christmas songs when no one was singing, throwing fits, shouting things to anyone near by, falling on faces, and fits in the isle - it's one of those things you can't understand unless you've done it. Then our Sunday School lesson was on teaching your children by example and we were both wondering how we could not kill them. Yet we survived. We got them to bed that night and I just cried. I love them. They're beautiful. There's nothing else I want to do, but what I wouldn't give sometimes to have a couple of hours to myself that wouldn't be used to make dinner or clean the house. Or to have a reliable babysitter who doesn't charge $12 an hour so Jeremy and I could go snowshoeing.

And for whatever reason, after balling my eyes out I felt so much better this morning. We had fun again. Katie loves to just sing anything - LOUD. She puts two hats on her head and tells me she's an elf. Then she will give something to Sydney or Cora and run over and tell me "I'm choosing to be a angel. I shared with her. I'm a angel." She wants to help me make anything in the kitchen and always wants to read stories. I wish I could take her on winter wonderland adventures, but as long as I have two other babies we are very limited in our outings. As everyone loves to remind me, I will look back on this and miss it. There are definitely things I will miss. Sydney, Cora, and Katie love to be held, rocked, and sang to. I love how quickly they give their love and smiles. I love watching Sydney and Cora play tug-of-war with things - a plastic cup to a stuffed animal to a cookie cutter. I love how our family home evenings last about 2 and a half minutes - including the song, prayer, scripture, and lesson. But Katie loves them and we look at each other knowing we're doing all we can.


I have an incredible husband who teaches me so much about patience, endurance, hard work, and love. He laughed so hard when he was playing with the girls tonight. They would tackle him, then he'd tickle them and they would squeal and giggle. It was a beautiful sight. I'm so glad Sundays are important to him. I'm glad he likes what I cook and that he's so determined to do things well. He is a miracle in my life.

As for me, I feel like I'm relearning how to reach out to people. I never thought it would become so difficult to do when I became a mother, but I really have to work at it. I am seeking to learn from so many women who each know things about mothering that have helped and guided me.

We are going to have a great year. It may be just as insane as the last as we go through Fellowship applications, three toddlers, and a currently gimpy dog, but I can't help but feel things will keep getting better.