Water is Good

This is week two of attempting this post and the computer is determined to thwart me. Consider my comments the cliff notes version of everything. Second week of July I took the girls to southern Vermont to visit family of a friend and we had a blast! It was so beautiful, I fell in love with Vermont all over again. We swam in the family pond there and there is something magical about diving into fresh water. Here's some pics of the girls in the water.

That's Cora's head above with Katie and this is Sydney below. Jeremy and I have been working with them and these girls are fearless in the water. That has its' goods and its' bads for now, but will serve us well later. Right now we do a head count every 5-10 seconds, which makes for very segmented conversation with anyone.

Cora, Katie, the three friends of theirs, and Sydney. They loved the popsicles.

And this beautiful lake before you is none other than Winnipesaki (I hope I spelled that right). We went there the next day with Jeremy to stay with his cousin's family for the weekend. It was amazing. Such a huge lake, but if felt like no one was there because of all the tree coverage and the shape of the coastline. The water was amazing to play in! Thanks, Sarah and Brian for inviting us!

Katie would run around holding a stick on her head and telling us she was a unicorn shooting water at us through her horn. Jeremy was reciprocating her love.

Cora.

We made it home again. I had an awesome picture of Cora scowling, but I can't figure this computer out and it got lost somewhere. So we have Katie above and Sydney below.

The water is such a nice break in the 95 degree weather (no one has central air here, except the library). Our kids are covered with bumps and bruises all the time, I feel like I'm doing a good job letting them explore. The girls still have a very small vocabulary. They say "hot," "woof," and "uh-oh." Mama and dada go in and out of being used for a person, let alone the right one. Katie can sing the Battle Hymn of the Republic. She and I were sitting on the porch watching bees get the pollen out of our lavender bush a couple of days ago. I've tried so hard not to teach her to fear bugs and it's so amazing to watch her watch the bees. She gets so close to them and just studies them. Then we talk about what she sees and it's so simple, yet so beautiful. I guess that sounds strange to many people, but I want my girls to know and understand how important every living thing in the world is. I want them to have that respect for life. And it humbles me to see that start to grow in them.

There's so much more I meant to post for the month of July. Right now I can hardly remember what happened. Katie's turning three next Saturday and I'm hoping I at least remember to get a cake-mix. At least we will be out of the three under three phase. Which was still a lot better than three under two. I better close. Here's to hoping for more postings in the month of August.

Wild

I finished a book this last week. It's called Last Child in the Woods. For anyone who has a good childhood memory of nature (water, trees, animals, flowers, dirt...) this book is something you should read. The author talks about how vital the relationship between children and nature is. He found study after study that links time in nature with decreased symptoms of anxiety, depression, and ADHD. As I read it and remembered all of the things I loved about being a child I realized how much of it involved nature. I have become more determined than before to let my girls experience that for themselves. So this last little while I have been fighting (anything from feeding them to leaving the house is a fight) to get them out as much as possible. It is a tremendous effort each time, but afterwards I feel so much better, the girls are happier, and the day seems to be better.
Two Tuesdays ago was free national park day, so we went to the closest one in New Hampshire - Saint Gaudens. He was a sculpture and this was where he did a lot of his work. Not the same as Zions, but still beautiful and they loved it.

Katie loves to have a backpack on. And to wear skirts. She's kind of like a dressy pack-lama for me.

Never too young for baseball. Or wiffle ball, I guess. I don't know if I've put up pictures of our front yard before, but there used to be some funky evergreen trees lining our driveway. That handsome fellow with the bat pulled them out one afternoon while I was grocery shopping. It looks so much better and I was so proud of him!

Our next adventure into the woods. I took them to the Joseph Smith birthplace in Sharon, VT. The church has a campsite there and I thought we'd do some hiking with the wagon. There happened to be a boyscout camp there at the same time. I think they were wondering what all of these little girls and their crazy mom were doing there with a wagon. We ended up just playing on the small swing set there and they found some interesting bug to look at on the slide. We did get a little time in the woods playing with sticks. Mission accomplished.

Our neighbors donated their son's old Red Sox t-shirt for Kate. I love how she loves to wear it with her pink boots.

Sugarbush Farms was our next big adventure. Cora and Katie loved the chickens, Sydney was not so sure about getting too close to them.

Sydney had to inspect the other folks at the farm. We took the maple walk they had there (they make maple syrup and cheese at this farm and keep the animals for the kids to meet). Sometimes the girls just want me to carry them, which makes me grateful Katie is so ready to just run on her own.

They loved the cow and wanted to keep petting him. There were a couple of horses there as well that I would lift them up one by one to pet. Until I realized that as I was working with one of my three girls the other two would be climbing up the rails of the fence. Never a dull moment.

We ate lunch just outside of the little house there and this huge black dog (behind them) would just wait for food to fall down. Dogs make clean up so much easier!

There's Cora with her little syrup sample spoon in her hand. Cora in the grass.

Notice the back pack? She got down in the grass here so she would be safe from the truck that had to drive by.

Our backyard is finally in bloom!

I just wanted to conclude with some thoughts on the wilderness. I know it's been hard for me to get to the wilderness (anywhere that's relatively machine/building/cement-free) since we've had kids. I know that's a reality for a lot of my friends now as well. Life gets busy, and it's hard to remember to do more than just survive with bills, food, work (this includes laundry, cleaning, dishes, etc), and the commitments we all must keep. But I have been reminded of how good the wild is for my soul. Things I learn and love about nature:

1-Every flower, tree, and living thing is different and special. No one is saying all flowers must look like this - not too tall, too short, a certain color, and be dressed a certain way. Each living thing does the best it can and that's all that is needed. Each plays a part of a bigger picture, but is still so unique and amazing.

2- Most changes are gradual, yet life altering. Rapid changes in nature (floods, earthquakes, fires) may be too overwhelming to systems and though good may come out of it eventually, it takes a very long time. Most changes and growth are very gradual and the most sustaining. Canyons formed from streams, trees that grow so tall, even food growing in your garden. It's OK in nature to have a slower, more constant pace. You'll get to where you need to go without running like you're on fire.

3- You realize it's OK to not be in control. No one and nothing other than God is really in control and things work out. You survive storms and draughts, just as plants and animals do.

4- You can see life really is beautiful and fun can be simple things that don't cost money. Mud can be played in, trees can be climbed by the rich or poor, pretty or plain, and the joy you take from it is all your own. Those boundaries we set as humans begin to disappear in nature.

I have probably talked enough for now. This is something so dear to my soul I could talk about it for eons. I hope to give my girls this simple joy, this chance to feel so close to God and free from the judgements, fear, and anger this world tries to throw at them. I want them to respect real dangers (being struck by lightning or drowning in a river) more than fearing the perceived ones (there are evil people everywhere waiting to hurt me). If this post has inspired even one person to go find a wild place to feel alive again, then I have succeeded. I hope someone else picks up the book because it was good and it reminded me there is so much more to life than just surviving it.

Justice

This last Monday was my second trip to court for our beloved dog. It was eye opening. Actually, I'd say terrifying. At least this time someone was watching the girls. For anyone who has not had the pleasure of gracing a courtroom, all of the offenders had to sit and wait for the judge to show up. Then the clerk read lists of names (you'd go up in groups), she'd read all of the charges against you, then the judge would tell you the sentence and/or fine. Nothing was private - financial status, numbers of previous offenses, and so on - it was quite a change from health care where your own family can't know a thing without you signing a stack of paper.
The judge was merciless. I understand you have to be firm and stern (you could see how much crap went on), but he was more like condescending and ruthless. He mocked people, kicked people out, and seemed to enjoy making everyone there feel like idiots. He remembered me enough to point out that things were obviously a lot calmer for me without my kids and still increased the fine from what the prosecutor had asked for. At least it wasn't the thousand he'd originally threatened.
I left there feeling sad for society. Homeless, jobless, kids there for drug and alcohol charges with no parents in the room, young parents there for shoplifting, domestic abuse cases, all kinds of drug charges, and I left before they were even half-way done. Granted, I wasn't looking at a murder trial, but the reality of what I was seeing really hit me. No one aspires to be homeless, go to jail, or be an addict. And growing up with the doctrine of Christ being taught, justice was always taught with the principle of mercy. There is no mercy in the courtroom. How can there be? I know you feel bad about breaking the law, let's work on your change of heart, we'll help you get a better job, get you some counseling, you can apologize, work back the damage, and things will be OK. That will not work in this earthly life. There has to be justice. I just had my eyes open to how final it is.
How do you get a job after you've gone to jail? Who hires you? How do you get into a college to get a better job? Who pays your bills while you're in the slammer and have no income? These people we send away for punishment more often come out much worse off than they were before. I don't know that I have answers, but it was frightening to contemplate all of this as I watched this judge make everyone tremble.
I was glad to be done with the whole affair. I hope to never be back there again. So to any of you potential law breakers out there - DON'T DO IT! It's not worth it. And be careful if you live somewhere that even minor violations - a dog off a leash - sends you to court.

Moments

Where to begin? Hopefully the computer won't slow me down or we will get no where very fast. I will try to play catch up really quick. Just after our trip to DC, Jeremy and I went to Las Vegas as my mom was out with our girls. Jeremy had an anesthesia conference and I spent some quality time in the mountains. I found some beautiful views and even several waterfalls. Who knew Las Vegas had such amazing wilderness nearby? The trip was quick, Jeremy's parents met us there and we spent some time with them, and we enjoyed spending time together. It was so nice to reconnect with the wilderness. But we did learn to never rent a car from a rental company you've never heard of. It was a sketchy deal and I think our car used to be a gangster car. Las Vegas itself was something different for me. It was a good reminder that Jeremy and I aren't much for the big city life, but especially there. We felt pretty dirty just from walking around the streets. Maybe we'll find a conference in Hawaii one of these years.

I don't know if I can tell you much of what happened between then and this last week, but we have had an adventure this last week. It was Pele's court hearing this last Monday. I should have remembered enough to find a babysitter for the girls, but I did not remember until I was in the shower that morning. Not knowing how to find a sitter at 6:30 in the morning for 7:50, I just decided to take them with me. I just needed to plead guilty and pay the fine, right? Oh, not so. Court is a scary place, apparently. We had to go through metal detectors, they turned away anyone with shorts, then we all (every person in trouble with the law), had to sit in the court room. Me with all three girls. The judge was not there, but they played a video recording of him saying something for 20 minutes or so that I could not hear because I was wrestling the girls. It was nuts, and to make a long story short, an hour and a half after we were there the judge finally came in. After we stood up for him and then sat down the girls, who had done so well until then, began to cry. All three of them. So the judge asked me to come up in front of everyone and for about 10 minutes proceeded to tell me I was disrespectful, couldn't think, couldn't hear him with the kids crying, and that I was more or less stupid for taking the kids, he was going to fine me $1000 for the violation, and I needed to get out of his courtroom. I've never felt humiliated before. But I did then. I couldn't stop crying almost the entire day. Thing after thing I tried to do that day just kept falling apart and I felt so overwhelmed and incompetent.

I talked to the police station a couple of days later and found out I had to talk to the prosecutor. I left him a message and he called me back. All city violations (the dog off the leash) have to be settled through the court. But he was there and saw everything that happened, felt pretty sympathetic since he had kids as well, and was only going to press for $50. Such a relief from the $1000. It still has me a little shaken when I remember him just berating me with no mercy as Kate was climbing on the chair in front of me and the twins were crying on each hip.

It started off the week a little rough. Jeremy asked me later this week if I find joy in being a mother. My answer was in moments. This is full of heartbreaks and joys all in moments.

Saturday was a day of beautiful moments. It rained all day so we just spent time doing almost nothing as a family, but I loved it. All three of them were so sweet. I love that Katie loves to give us both loves, gives the girls loves, and even gives Pele loves. During one of the major thunderstorms Katie knew that Pele would be scared so she would sit next to her, give her loves and told her, "It's OK, I'm here, you're alright." The twins are so much trouble right now because they climb up ANYTHING, but their smiles just melt your heart. They love to dance, clap their hands, and run. When we're not all in tears, we are all laughing and playing. Especially when it's hot enough to get in the pool.

This was from the neighbors. They drew on our driveway a couple of months ago and I finally got the picture up.

This was the huge fountain we dug up to make our garden a little bigger. Other than my cell phone having a watery death, this was a successful venture.

You're looking at Katie, Cora, and Sydney. They can play in this pool for hours and it's a lifesaver when it's so hot and muggy.

There's Cora in the front, then Sydney, and Katie.

Different day, I switched their suites, so this is Sydney.

Here's Cora.

And the lovely Katie Bug.

When all is said and done, I am still learning a lot. I think I also have a lot more to learn. It has astounded me how little the world thinks of parents at times. Particularly mothers who stay home with their children. I don't think life is easy for anyone, challenges continue to come from every direction no matter who you are or what you're doing. But I'm grateful for the teachings of the Atonement, the faith and hope it gives me that all things work for our good if we let them. I always have more to say, but by the time I write it down I either can't remember or I need to go to bed. So here's to the end of the post, but what I wanted to get out was that this life is made of many moments, great and small, painful and joyful, and I'm grateful for the opportunity to go through it.

To DC and More

Long time no posts, I know. We've been on vacation! What a wonderful thing. Jeremy had a week and a half off. We spent the first part of it getting caught up with little things, then we went to DC to visit my sister Melissa and her family. Here's a collection of pictures (a LOT of pictures).

This was actually a month or so before. We just need to show off Sydney's styling hair once we get the food out of it.
Cora wanted to join the photo shoot.

This is what Katie does when I put her down for "quiet time." She pulls out her clothes and has a party. In her hand you see a pair of white socks that she's stuffed with other socks and calls it her muffin, cupcake, or cranberry juice. On her head you see a halloween skirt she calls her headband.

And then she falls asleep somewhere random. Like on top of the dresser.

Now we're in DC at the National Zoo. Katie, Sydney and I were checking out the carnivour exhibit near the lions. They had cubs out, two mamas, and a daddy lion while we were there and we got to hear them roar. I think Jeremy and I were more excited about that than the girls were.

Cora and her daddy.

I promise we didn't have another one. That cute little addition is my sister's little Lila.

And there's cousin Van with us.

They did this on their own. It's so fun to have cousins! Even if we only see them once a year.

Working hard at the Building Museum.

This was Jeremy and I getting some quality time with Katie at the Smithsonian Natural History Museum. The best part was she ran around it pushing her stroller shouting "Follow the Prophet" as loud as she could.

My cookie monsters at the WWII memorial.

Cora at our belayed egg hunt with the cousins.

There's Sydney adding to the stash.

We made it to the Baltimore Aquarium while we were there and it was awesome! It's true, you can only show a two year old so many fish, but between the dolphins, sting rays, sharks and the rain-forest at the end, we had a very good time.

Maybe the toddlers' favorite part was actually the bubbles at the gift shop.

Scare you? It's just a picture behind us, but it sure looks good, doesn't it?

So we ended that day by doing a kid swap with Jon and Melissa at the temple. We even ran into some of Jeremy's extended family there. The world is so small when you're memebers of the Church. The kids had a great time playing on the lawn. And I can't tell you how much I loved being able to take them everywhere without bundling three little kids up with boots, coats, mittens, and hats. I kept feeling like I was forgetting something, but it was such a sense of freedom!

Love this temple. If you're heading west on the 495 around DC, there's this point where it just stands out above the trees right in front of you. It's amazing.

This is Sydney trying to tell us that the light is hot. Cora found that out earlier by putting her hand on it. No major burns, but it sure made her cry.

Cora did recover.

They loved to give Lila loves. I think they were excited that someone was younger than they were.

The end. There's actually so much more to say. My mom came out to stay with us the day after we got back and Jeremy and I went to Vegas for an anesthesia conference, but our computer is so slow it's taken me about an hour just to type in these captions, so we'll save it for another night. In summary: DC was awesome, thanks Melissa and Jon, Sydney threw up on the way home (are you surprised?), we loved driving up the East Coast, but we'll probably love it more when we're not trying to plan it around naps, diapers, and meltdowns (don't ask how early we got up for each drive).