We Love Firemen

After my fabulous visit to the hospital this last week my sister offered to come up and spend some time keeping me down. Jeremy's mom is going to come out just after Thanksgiving for 3 weeks. We've got awesome family and I can't say enough of them. Well, here's the adventure we had Melissa's first night here. Jeremy was on call and we were all peacefully in our beds. At about 4 am the smoke alarm started screaming. By the time I got out of bed and calmed the scared dog down (so brave, at least Kate slept through it), it stopped. Then it started again, then stopped. I'm sitting there thinking, are you kidding me? Please don't let the house burn down. It didn't keep going so I had Melissa come up the stairs to where it was and see if maybe it was the battery, but it was plugged into the ceiling. There was no battery. We checked all around the house for anything that could be burning, had a hard time deciding if we could smell smoke, got back into bed and it went off again. So I called the fire department to ask if they could come make sure we weren't missing some smoldering fire in our house.

At 4:30am we had 4 firefighters over who walked through the house and checked the smoke detectors for us, took the old ones down, and since they determined it was a short in the very old contraptions, put a new one in and let me know I needed to go to home depot and get some new ones quick. They were super nice about the whole thing and I found myself grateful that they were 1-reachable, 2-awake, 3-took me seriously, and 4-were helpful.

It's true, this turned out to be nothing tragic (thank goodness). But I just wanted to give a shout out to those people who are up all night to answer phone calls from pregnant women scared their house is potentially on fire.

Dad Always said I was Special

I don't know that everyone would like to hear about everything going wrong, but since this is as close as I get to keeping a journal right now I'll probably continue to post about the weirdness of pregnancy.

To make a long story short, Monday night I was throwing up blood. So since Jeremy was post call Tuesday morning we ran ourselves over to the lovely hospital to pump me up with at least some fluid. Our doc said I most likely tore part of my stomach and gave me some Zantac to tame the wild acid, but I mentioned that food was not digesting either and they gave me Reglan as well (on top of the 2 liters of IV fluid). Now, Reglan basically helps with gut motility, but there can be a few weird side effects. One of the rare ones is you get really depressed and suicidal. But instead, my body did the reverse. I went from being super sick and looking dead in bed to a sudden burst of energy and laughter. I couldn't stop giggling or moving and scared the snot out of my husband and the nurse because they'd never seen anything like it from something as mild as Reglan. Whatever happened, at least I could finally eat a couple popsicles! Our doc explained it is an extremely rare side effect and Jeremy just asked me, "Can you do nothing like a normal person? You don't even respond to medication like people should!" I'm just giving him a broader perspective as a physician.

So I'm home now. That's been three trips to the hospital so far, none of which have helped us feel any less clueless about what to do with me and I've never had so many pills to take on a daily basis in my life, but I'm not dead yet. I can look on this right now and laugh because it's so ridiculous, but maybe it's because they gave me the pill form of Reglan to take home.

My friend, Ginny, was here for the fun of all of that and what a lifesaver she was! Katie Lou did great with her and our freezer is stocked with food. I tell you what, there's nothing like good friends who you know understand you to help you feel like at least you haven't completely lost your mind, well, that or they remind you that you did have a mind at one point in time to lose. Sometimes in all of this I wonder....

Before all of that started, we were foster parents of a 7 year old English Mastiff from Thursday to Friday. She got along great with Pele and Katie Lou and was really sweet, but she was also in heat so I was changing her little doggie diaper every time she needed to go to the bathroom. Little's the wrong word. That dog weighed 140 lbs - more than 3x the size of Pele. She went back within 24 hrs.

All of this teaches me about limitations. I left high school and went through college feeling like I never wanted to be limited. I hated people telling me I can't do something (I don't mean safety things), or that dreams are impossible. Everything seems so black and white then. Then you start to face real life and realize limitations may be a reality during certain seasons of life. The stubborn side of me still fights that idea, but all that does is make me frustrated. If I decide it's OK to hold still for a minute and ponder instead of working to death for the sake of progress and efficiency, I begin to be a lot more grateful for the things I have. As much as this is stinking hard - the moments of despair, the constant weakness and sickness, the stress, worry, aching, and exhaustion - it has taught me so much more than I would have learned having an easy pregnancy. Compassion, patience (still REALLY working on that), trusting the Lord's plan and timing instead of demanding my own, humility, and especially letting go of that rigid image of how life is supposed to be if "you work hard and do everything right." I could talk about this forever, but I just want to say that I'm grateful.

I'm grateful for a husband that always does his best to take care of me. I'm grateful for a daughter who loves her parents despite their own perceived shortcomings. I'm grateful for a dog who really is the perfect fit for our family and knows what I'm asking when I just look at her the right way. I'm grateful for so many people so willing to help. I'm grateful that I'm not an elephant that's pregnant for 22 months. I'm grateful we have such a nice home to live in and that the weather has been as good as it has. I'm grateful our fridge and cars work. I'm grateful we haven't had a mouse in the house for a few weeks. I'm grateful I can see colors and that we have such beautiful trees and rivers around us. I'm grateful for Christmas lights that brighten up our kitchen when it gets so dark so early now. I'm grateful for the education and jobs I've had and the amazing roommates and coworkers I've gotten to know and love. I'm grateful my mom and dad always listen to me then talk sense into me and love me for who I am. I'm grateful for both mine and Jeremy's brothers and sisters and how much they do for us. I'm grateful for the sense of touch and how amazing it is to hug Jeremy and hold Kate or scratch behind Pele's ears. I'm grateful I can walk and talk (as incoherent as it is at times). I'm grateful I can read. I'm grateful for kitchen knives that actually cut food on the first try. I'm grateful I can hear music. I'm grateful for the power of prayers - both said and unsaid. I'm grateful that Heavenly Father knows me and watches out for me. I'm grateful I have a Savior who gives me hope when I don't want to hope anymore. I'm grateful that days come to an end and new days are always fresh with no mistakes in it.

You never realize how much you have and all of the things that can make you happy until you really think about it.

Preggo Mini-Update

I'm still super behind in posting anything in depth and I think it would do me good to get my thoughts out, but this may still be brief. Let me just say that this Tues we've reached 28 weeks, which is a 90% good outcome for any little babies born without additional complications. We mapped out our gains for 28, 30, 32, 34, 35, and 36 weeks. I have a lot of mixed emotions because I want them to have the best chance possible, but so much of the time I'm so weak and sick still that there's a part of me says the sooner they're out the better. If they're in the NICU, at least there's a team of medical people to watch out for them besides their parents. That probably sounds really harsh or strange to some people. OK, a lot of people. Let's just say that I passed out today at my OB appointment, went to the ER AGAIN, my phone died an untimely death last night (not a dead battery, a dead phone) so I couldn't even reach Jeremy or the gal watching Kate, and even when I'm home and resting it is a serious BATTLE to get enough food and fluid down me for one day. Everything makes me cry right now. It is so hard to know that I can't do simple things like make dinner, do dishes, carry Kate up the stairs, hold her for more than a couple minutes, or even just sweep the floor. After any of the above, I'm on the floor for a good couple of hours just breathing and feeling my heart pound. My OB said I'm actually doing really well for twins. Sheesh, if this is well, those poor people who get put on real bed rest. I don't like feeling like I'm complaining all the time and I'm really working on keeping a positive perspective here. If we can just make it to December I may not care at all when they're born.

I can't be thankful enough for the ward we're in. We've had so much food brought to us and people are coming over to take Kate left and right. The neighbors walk Pele about 3 times a week. So I know Heavenly Father's watching over us and helping us hold this family together. But I don't know if I'll remember much of anything of our first year here in New Hampy. Bless those women who enjoy pregnancy so much or who have to go through so much to get pregnant. I don't know if I can physically, mentally, or emotionally handle this again.

If we could beg prayers off of anyone, even if it's just that I can handle the cabin fever of unofficial bed rest, or that Kate will know her parents love her despite making her the ward foster child, or that Jeremy will have the strength he needs for 12+ hour days then to come home and take care of his other patients, we will take anything. Please forgive us for any lack of phone calls or letters this holiday season and just know that we think of all of our friends and family with the warmest feelings in our hearts and can't thank you all enough for how you've blessed our lives. We know we'll get through this and we can't wait for the chance to pay it forward to others. For now we just keep counting our blessings that we've been as blessed and protected as we have.

Pictures Always Look Good

We survived our trip to visit family, though I must admit, after almost missing the connecting flight and she and I both taking our turns puking, there better be a really important event for me to ever fly again pregnant. I cannot praise the kindness of strangers enough who were so kind as to let her sleep on their laps so I could breath and who cleared the way for me and talked to the flight attendants about what was going on when I had to puke my guts out. On that happy note, this is a picture of Kate with her cousins on a fine September day.
So my sister, Ann, did her hair for me and she just loved running on the sidewalk right next to Grandma Sorensen's flowers. Then she'd stop and eat them.

Another set of cousins, same ages as the previous set.

Kate and her daddy reunited after a long trip away. You're looking at the battlefield visible from Little Round Top at Gettysburg. I can't describe how moving American history is to me. This is an incredible place that makes me so grateful that, despite our problems, I belong to this country. There was no logical reason the Union should have won this battle. The South had greater numbers, more experienced generals, and started off in better positions. But this site turned the tides of the civil war and, again, despite our imperfections, every human being legally has the rights of another in our country. (Although all lawyers, politicians, and other people in general may argue with me on that).

Driving from Philadelphia to home was a long trek and we tuckered out the little bug and her Grandpa.

Here's Kate and her dad wandering the streets of Intercourse, Pennsylvania. Jeremy and I learned the difference between a Mennonite and Amish buggy here and our jaws dropped at learning the price of an Amish quilt.

Unfortunately our trip lost us some of the more glorious part of fall at home. This is my favorite tree in the cemetery by our house. It had just started turning red in little patches at the top when we were leaving. At least we still got to see this much of it.

Here's dad with the pink marshmallow, I mean Katie Lou, before one of our morning walks. I was so happy to find something that still covered her hands and feet!

Fall leaves from the neighbor's tree. It's great fun until Kate realizes she's close to the road then runs straight for it.

Here's our Halloween costumes. I'm a pregnant cowgirl and the Bug's a witch, though there's no hope of a proper hat staying on her head.

OK, this is my favorite. We went trick-or-treating to our five neighbors and she was much more interested in swinging the bag around and running in the road, but it was fun to show her off. Plus she scored big for the few houses we went to. Reeses, 3 Musketeers, M&Ms, we're in a good neighborhood!

So Much to Say

Ah, the two Jeremys of my life. My husband and brother. So to sum things up, I was in trouble for a while. After my parents and sis left I kind of took a turn for the worse. We had to go to the ER, my OB not so subtly suggested not being pregnant at this time, I was not gaining any weight and had to have neighbors and church friends come and watch Kate or bring us food because I could hardly move. My Mom felt terrible and sent my brother out for two weeks to help and it made a world of difference. Just having someone to carry Kate and make sure I could eat and drink. He was pretty much my hero. That and I realized maybe half of my conversations I am quoting some movie or cartoon from forever ago and my brother Jeremy is the only one who knows all of the same movies. We had a good time. And since he was sporting a shaved head and my husband Jeremy has wanted to shave his for some time now - voila ! We have the two shaved men above. I have since switched OBs, by the way, to one who took my vomiting and exhaustion and nausea a bit more seriously and things are better. I've currently gained 14 lbs (never mind that I should be closer to 25 or more now with two babies) and that is an exciting victory. But it's strange to be looking for high calorie, high fat, high protein foods when everything is marketed as low all of the above.

This is to show off my fabulous photography skills. My sister gave Kate this dress for her birthday and she does look very cute, but she also likes to move which makes for a blurry picture when you only have the standard digital camera and not enough patience to take the 20 shots you need to get the perfect picture.

We took Kate to the pool while Term (that's what I call my brother, Jeremy) was here. I lasted about 20 minutes, which was impressive. The water completely terrified Kate at first and I think it had more to do with the amounts of screaming children already in the pool. She warmed up to the idea after a while and we had a good time.

Super baby with Uncle Term at the pool.

This was Jeremy my husband's joke since all three of his girls (Kate, Pele, and myself) throw-up so much.

This would be Katie Lou and I in a Boston fountain. We went to Boston hoping to go to the aquarium (air conditioning is a nice thing in humid August weather), but we couldn't talk ourselves into the admission price so we walked around for a bit instead and Kate had no fear of this fountain until the water came back down on her head. We survived all the same.

So I seriously put my brother to work while he was here. We dug up half of the lily-covered garden to plant things like these raspberry bushes. The planter box you see here was a last minute thing before we had to drive him to the airport. We thought there was more soil there than there really was so we were pretty proud of our efforts to find things around the house to help with this project. We're not supposed to get a crop until next summer, but the one on the right has already given us at least 20 berries. He must be an early bloomer.

We joined the canoe club here when we first came. Many of you are probably thinking that if I was that sick I am insane for even trying this out. Well, mental sanity is just as important and since either Jeremy my husband or Jeremy my brother was really doing most of the work as I had to keep Kate from drowning and I got to sit down the whole ride, it was not as physically exhausting as other things. And yes, Kate still wants to drink the water.

We have this ginormo lavender bush outside our back door and every morning when we get back from our walk, Kate plays with it while I get Pele inside. We have since bought some fuzzy slippers to cover her feet in the morning as it's now around 50 degrees or less. (Again, the walk keeps the mental sanity, please don't tell me to stay home and rest - I can't do it forever and there is a balance.)

The child is a freakin book worm! She hands us books all the time. Jeremy seems to be able to get away with reading each book once, but I usually am asked to read it at least 3-5 times. Repetition is good, right?

And this is my friend Ericka's birthday cake. She came out for a week to help me and we have been playing (and I also make her slave away). She taught me how to do a double layer cake, and our first lesson was frosting doesn't stick as well if the cake is still warm in the middle. Fortunately chocolate cake tastes good however you make it.

There have been so many things I want to write about. We did find out both of the twins are girls (Jeremy is so outnumbered). But we were also told there were a couple of things they found on the ultrasound to be concerned about. It ended up being made a bigger deal than it actually was, but there's still something they're not sure about in the brain of one of the girls. At first we were very worried, but have since decided we're not going to change anything, we have no control over what happens here and we are very happy to love two more girls who are coming into this house. This whole pregnancy has been quite the emotional roller coaster. I always thought I'd like to live maybe a hundred years ago, but between Kate's pregnancy and this one I think I wouldn't be able to hack it. Oh, well. I look at the little Bug now and I know it's worth it. I'm at moments so overwhelmed and others so excited. I'm glad that Heavenly Father's in charge and not me and if I always look at it that way and not stress about maintaining control I am much happier.

I will be traveling to visit family and then DC for a few weeks, so hopefully we will have more pictures again for the next post and one day I'll get all my thoughts in about health care, the book I read on girls aggression, and having twins. Until then, I'm glad I finally put something up!

Picture Time

This is almost two month's worth of pictures, people. I hope you enjoy!

Look who wants to brush her teeth! Every time she sees me brushing she pulls on my leg until I let her brush her teeth. This was still in Spokane.

Ah, the beautiful Gray Canyon. This is what I was doing the week I left Jeremy with Kate in Salt Lake.

Here's the Burn Camp staff photo.

These, I believe, are called pectogliphs (sorry, not a historian or speller). We stopped on one of the hikes to check these out and I am always so amazed by them and very curious what they mean.

This is the incredible storm that came rolling in as we were pulling out at the end of the trip. Thunder, hail, it was awesome! Actually, because it rained nearly every day is what I think kept me in such good shape for the trip. Pregnancy for me with heat is a BAD combo. I was 7 1/2 weeks preggo for this trip.

Now we're onto Jeremy and Jeff's (Jeremy's dad) cross-country venture. They figured they'd get a couple of Royal's games in while they were on their merry way.

He's pretty good looking, isn't he?

They also stopped in Palmyra. You're looking at the Sacred Grove and the Palmyra, NY temple in the background.

Fast forward a few weeks to our new house and me not being able to find Pele in our backyard, but I could hear her. I finally figure out she found a way to get under the deck. Now she's got her own little cave to hang out it (plus I think she keeps the skunks and raccoons away).

Our second weekend on the East Coast was the 4th of July and we were in Cape Cod. This was Kate's first time in the ocean and she thought she was in heaven.

All of us enjoying our beach time that wiped me out so bad I was out cold on the floor of the house while everyone saw the fireworks at the beach.

Fast forward another month to Kate's birthday party. Thank heavens for family! This was the weekend my parents and sister Melissa with her husband, Jon, and their son, Van, stayed with us and did miracles for this house! We had a lot of fun, but I could hardly do a thing because it got so hot. So my mom made the cake and Jon and Melissa cut it out and decorated it. I was so impressed. Kate was, but she started to cry because she was so stinking tired. It's my party and I'll cry if I want to?

This is part of the amazing garden we were left. For the entire month of July there were orange, red, and yellow lilies everywhere and now we have what I think are called black-eyed susans. And Pele is sneezing. I think I should mention that that dog has learned out to let herself in and out of the screen door. I'm so impressed.

This is beautiful Kate. You can somewhat see how curly her hair is. Every time it rains she's a total curly Sue. She now has 4 top teeth and the same 2 bottom teeth.

A slightly better view of the hair.

This is daddy and the Bug at Lake Sunapee last weekend. If we could just teach her to quit trying to drink the water. She just throws her face in it then comes up coughing and looking at you like, why am I drowning? Love that little Bug.

And I Thought School and Work Were Tough...

So if I keep waiting until I have time to post about everything I'd like to with all the fun pictures it will never happen. Instead I'm just going to start talking. To review everything since the beginning of May: I got back from New Hampshire with a house under contract for us to move into. Jeremy and I talked about timing for a sibling for Kate and we felt VERY STRONGLY that that time had come. Low and behold we are pregnant with about three weeks left until we move. As I'd mentioned before, I was invited to be a counselor again for Burn Camp the week that we had to hang out in Salt Lake and I had said yes. Burn Camp is a week long river trip down Desolation and Gray Canyon in Utah with absolutely no cell reception from start to finish. I had been super excited for this, but finding out we were pregnant put a lot of questions in the air. We talked about it and decided we'd hook back up with my old OB in Spokane while we were still there and ask him for an ultrasound. You can see the heart beat on these little guys at 6 weeks and if you see a strong one your chances of a miscarriage decrease significantly. We decided if we could see a heart beat then I would go on the river trip. We go in, actually a little early because he at first was having trouble making out the heart beat, but then as he kept working with the machine we found there was not just one sack, but two. We were supposed to come back in a few days later to see if we could find the heart a little better and to make sure what he was seeing wasn't a shadow.
So we go back in 4 days before we're leaving and there were two very distinct sacks which had doubled in size with two very distinct and strong heart beats. Jeremy and I just looked at each other in awe. We'd joked about having twins and naming them Huck and Sawyer just to be funny and I've since decided I'm never joking about triplets.
And we still had to move. The ward was amazing helping up pack up and get loaded. We found the right drug combo for Pele so she didn't throw up the ENTIRE trip (no small miracle, people). Kate handled the drive quite well, and I was only mildly nauseated.
Burn Camp was incredible. I loved being on the river, I couldn't eat much more than pringles, crackers and cheese, and red vines, but I was able to play the guitar for the kids and have some really good conversations with both the staff and the kids. There's no way to describe what an incredible experience it is. And I didn't throw up the entire trip. It did rain on us every day, which I take as a blessing because it kept us from baking which would have done me in.
I got back around 7pm on Thursday and Jeremy had to leave at 4:30 the next morning to start the drive out with his dad and Pele. I hung out with my sister and her kids and we drove down to Cedar to hang out with my parents. There is nothing like family. I love the friends I have dearly and am so glad we get to live as many places as we do, but something about just sitting in your parents' kitchen and talking with your mom, or taking a walk with your dad is one of the greatest things in this life.
However, I still had a 5 hour flight to Boston (getting there at midnight), had to find our hotel, then catch a three hour shuttle ride to Lebanon 2 days before Jeremy was going to get there. I was getting super nauseous all the time and Kate got sick right before the flight. Fortunately, people were super helpful and things did go well.
The other anesthesia residents helped us move all of our stuff in and we had fun having a few extra days with Jeremy's dad. They got to see a lot of the country, a couple of Kansas City Royals games, and some church history on the way out and Kate sure loved playing with her grandpa while he was there.
Jeremy started work the next week, then we were invited to hang out with a family at Cape Cod for the 4th of July. That is an AMAZING vacation spot. Where we stayed had no hotels, just houses that people rented on an annual basis, so they all knew each other. Kate LOVED the water, everything was so mellow, and other than me falling asleep on the floor and completely missing the fireworks over the bay because I was so exhausted, we had a ball.
We've since been settling into the grind of things. Pele and Kate and I have been walking every morning, sometimes we hike, sometimes we just stay in the neighborhood. This ward has been very helpful and inviting. I'm already the Primary Chorister (I love it!). I got to see my friend, Sandy and her baby Kate, visiting her in-laws in a little Vermont town about an hour south of here. Katie Bug and I have been strawberry and raspberry picking (I much prefer picking raspberries when I have a 20+ lbs person in my arms). We just got a membership to the canoe club here and we're going to try it out this weekend when my parents and sister and her family will be here.
So......twins. I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about this, and so does Jeremy. All I can say, just like we learned when we did a natural birth with Kate, you have to learn to tune out the doubters and the nay-sayers or you will be overwhelmed. I'm so grateful for all of those people who have just been super excited for us and cheered us on instead of telling us how overwhelming it's going to be. I know Kate'll only be 16 or 17 months. I know two are more work to take care of than one. I know I need to rest and to gain weight. Those two tasks are my greatest challenge at the moment. I'm not throwing up as much as I did with Kate, but I still have a hard time even looking at the pantry or fridge. There's no smell that makes me sick, it's just the thought of food half the time. But I am able to eat ice cream and drink raspberry lemonade. Weiner boats (hot dogs with mashed potatoes and cheese on top) are about the only other menu item. I guess I should truly enjoy a time when I am aloud to eat ice cream for every meal of the day and take advantage of the Ben and Jerry's factory 45 miles away from here. I can't be grateful enough for a husband who is OK with not having a dinner made every night.
It has been emotionally quite draining when I run out of energy about half way through the day and Kate is still ready to go. But this is again, another reason to be so grateful for our dog who helps entertain her some of the time and for women in the ward who have so graciously offered to help me with her. I have to get some pictures posted because she is just beautiful. She has tons of curly hair and even took her first couple of steps today. She loves to smash her face into new things (trees, clothes, books, the floor) wherever we are. She does not like to hold still. I think I see a lot of me in her. She's also very like her dad. We sure love her. And we're so excited to see who the two new members of our family are. Boy? Girl? Both or two of which one?
Life is truly amazing. As I read over The Family: A Proclamation to the World this morning I felt such a sense of peace as I realized we're trying our best to raise a family and it's never what we think or plan, but we can do this with faith. I'll post pictures hopefully by Kate's birthday and I'm sure as it cools down and there's not so much to do outside and the house is more settled, it'll be more often. I sure miss all you friends and family.