Sunday, May 9, 2010
Sacrament meeting was for me today. I love these little girls that we have, and feel very blessed to have them as part of our family. But some days the thought of getting out of bed to take care of all three of them all day long is overwhelming. There are multiple moments when everyone needs everything, they can't understand why I'm not meeting those needs this second, and I'm lucky if I get to eat and drink in the process. What makes it harder is not having had a full night's sleep for so many months (I wasn't sleeping through the night before they were born either). Suffice it to say we're on a roller coaster of highs and lows - some days we can conquer anything, and others I want to give up.
Today being Mothers' Day, the topic in Sacrament Meeting was about mothers, sacrifice, and the Savior. The last talk was about Mark 8:35 - "He that findeth his life shall lose it, and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.." The middle talk was about how the Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ give everything to bring to pass "the immortality and eternal life of man," how not easy that is and the true meaning of sacrifice. And the first talk someone drew parallels between the Savior's life and that of a mother's. It was humbling to hear all of this as I have struggled with how often I feel like I've lost my mind, lost myself, and wondered if anyone else knows how hard this mothering job can be. Of course it's going to be hard - would I expect anything less from a job so important? Then I think of my own parents and my Grandparents and how much they always have and still do sacrifice for all of their kids. From time to cars, food, money, space, energy, vacations, and life in general, my parents, particularly my mother, have never failed to watch over all of us and strive to make us happy and teach us the right. I'm in awe as I think of my mom and her constant love and support, as I think of my older sister and her never-ending patience, my younger sister with her joyful optimism, my Grandma with her beautiful laugh, and the strength and support of so many other mothers around me that take my girls so I can shower, sleep, or just cry to them.
I think the world around us is so patronizing to mothers. It gives us a lot of lip service and mocks and belittles us at the same time. This is the toughest job you'll ever love, it is not for the faint of heart, and I am so grateful for the Gospel of Christ in my life that helps me keep it in perspective when I feel overwhelmed and the angels Heavenly Father continually sends to watch over me. This calls for more endurance and courage than I ever thought I had - including school and working two jobs. I hope I grow up to be as awesome as my mom.